majo la maja

watching The Wire and there really used to be so much more sex in shows before, even when it wasn't central to the plot, AND the sex was sexier!

a screenshot of Chaka Khan's I'm every woman, edited to say i'm every man

any time there's division of household chores discourse i'm forced to humbly accept this

Jeffrey Goldberg thinking he was being pranked and then realizing he was actually just in the war plans group chat is such a good microcosm of how it feels to be alive right now, everything seems fake until you realize it’s actually real and incredibly stupid

it's that time of the month (when i post a selfie on here and dip)

more like Jessica Lee GAGné amiright

no yeah i know, that's why i made the meme haha

last night i pushed the boundaries of appropriate work titties

Mondays are reluctant office outfit days

it's tough to be a sports lover and a US hater but someone's gotta do it

rubbing my hands like a gross little fly

watching The Wire for the first time and i'm dying at McNulty being the Most Divorced Guy

i forgot how awful (complimentary) she is in this movie my god

watching My Best Friend's Wedding and i'm not generally a jealous person but i would drop a piano on Julia Roberts' head i'm afraid

see i would love to play guitar but unfortunately i refuse to make Those Faces

one underrated advantage of working remote is that typing "hahaha" when my boss sends me stupid AI videos is much easier than politely chuckling irl

best friend and i wrote the book on shitty Madridian dive bars 💅🏼

Commanders holding the ball like Nara Smith holds utensils and it's pissing me off

me with my hair braided lying on a Jamaican beach in a colorful bikini

A view of the ocean from a ship. My silhouette in the reflection

touching grass was not enough i needed to touch sand

dammit Benito you've done it again

my hair stylist: *massaging my head*

me: don't moan don't moan don't moan

i lost my prized WhatsApp sticker collection no one talk to me

i contain (sweaty) multitudes

running a 10k today pls give me song recs 🙏🏼 and rate their hype level on a scale of 1 to 10 pls

New Year's resolution to be the Majo-est i can possibly be is off to a great start

too late i'm the "you're the something police" police

and yes i'm the adages police. ACAB includes me and i have the bad(a)ge to prove it

everyone's aaaalways tryna get cute with old sayings without stopping to consider if they're smart enough to do so (they aren't)

this annoyed me so much bc NOWHERE does that phrase imply that. what does "softly" even mean here anyway.

but sure 200k likes what the hell