David Murphy

I see that some news websites are running a headline that Rochelle Humes has gone on holiday with Mylene Klass's ex husband among allegations of cheating. The implication of the headline is clear. Rochelle Humes, that lady who seems very nice and who hosts those TV shows with her husband, who seems equally nice, is having an adulterous affair which has caused the breakdown of Mylene Klass's marriage. If you click on the headline and read the story, you'll discover something very different. Mylene Klass recently gave an interview during which she alleged that, many years ago, before they were even married, she found her now ex husband in a compromising position with another woman. Co-incidentally, her ex husband used to manage JLS. He is currently on holiday with a large group of people including Marvin Humes, formerly of JLS, and Marvin's wife Rochelle. So the headline is technically true. Ms Klass has accused her ex husband of cheating and he is on holiday with Rochelle Humes. But those facts aren't linked. The headline writers are just trying to imply a scandal to get people to click. And I know that because I clicked. Which makes me an idiot.

Some thoughts on clickbait and why the news sites are implying an apparently innocent woman is cheating

This has broken me so many times

youtube.com/shorts/UdcKz...

I know that, logically, it's how things are, but it's still strange to observe it.

Yesterday, a much-loved, highly-respected and extremely-capable colleague retired after 45 years. Today, they are advertising for her replacement.

Sick of everything being Orwellian or Kafkaesque. I demand more Scarrylous situations, where animals drive vehicles and run small businesses.

Like everyone who was ever a strange, nerdy boy, I love Tom Lehrer's music. Thank you, professor, for all the laughs.

youtu.be/frAEmhqdLFs?...

Part of me thinks this is a great idea. Part of me doesn't. All of me should improve my grasp of time.

youtu.be/PELruSTO3qI?...

A clergyman wearing a lavender mic on this shirt, just over his heart, speaking from a lectern with a mic on a gooseneck. The lectern mic is almost as tall as he is, and is angled at a point above his head.

When the person leading the service is much taller than the preacher.

(He's actually preaching a thoughtful and sensitive sermon.)

I don't know who or what is stupider: my Renault TomTom satnav (I'm naming and shaming) for trying to take me into the motorway services through the staff entrance, or me for meekly following it through the country lanes of Louth.

It's me, isn't it? I'm the stupid one.

I would, respectfully, suggest that some evangelical Christians believe that, some evangelical Christians uncritically support Israel, some do both and some do neither.

Also, regardless of what else you believe or don't believe about anything, conditions in Gaza are utterly appalling.

"What do we want?"
"A compilation album!"
"What shall we call it?"
"Now!"

The nutrition label on a bag of rice. The numbers given are for cooked rice, per 100g and 235g, with a footnote stating that 235g of cooked rice is equivalent to 75g of uncooked rice. Typical values, per 100g, per 235g Energy, 654kj or 154kcal, 1536kj or 362 kcal Fat, 0.9g, 2.1g Of which saturates, 0.1g, 0.2g Carbohydrate, 32.6g, 76.6g Of which sugars, 0.1g, 0.2g Fibre, 0.6g, 1.4g Protein, 3.6g, 8.5g Salt <0.01g, <0.01g

If I'm reading this label correctly, this rice, in its uncooked state, is 102% carbohydrate by weight. Either there has been a misprint, or someone at Tesco has managed to completely rewrite the laws of physics.

Also, Great Britain and the UK aren't the same.

I know. I was aware that I was ignoring that word and that that word is too important to ignore.

Former Alliance candidate? I would say that's progressive and active

(I'm also a former Alliance candidate)
(I'm aware that the word former is doing a lot of work which I'm ignoring)
(I haven't looked at the quiz)

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Every British person on the internet is complaining about you

Probably for the best. You don't want to be running around outdoors in this heat.

Great deal on Specials records today. Buy Ghost Town and get a Free Nelson Mandela.

@mooseallain.bsky.social

still one of my favourite cartoons...

My girlfriend says she wants a fairy tale wedding. Anyone know where I can get hold of a bear costume and 50lbs of porridge?

Feed a duck some bread & he eats for a day. Teach a duck to speak, get a little suit & a job interview and I've lost my train of thought now

Cryptic crossword style clue.

Part of Dublin's heart, for example, is unmoved. (10)

Doing a crossword. Clue was "Rwandan primate". I immediately started wracking my brain for Rwandan archbishops (and finding none in there) before realising the answer was probably an ape.

Last weekend, while camping, my sister spun the wheels of my car and covered it (and our friend) in muck. (Apparently it was the car's fault).

The car has its MOT tomorrow. I've just remembered that they won't test filthy cars, so that's shot up the to-do list.

Have we considered the possibility that time travellers could have attended this party, but they didn't fancy it? Maybe Stephen Hawking was a terrible host.

Due to reverse engineering works, all bus services on Sunday will be replaced by trains.

(Yes, I came up with the 'reverse engineering works' phrase and worked back from there.

(No, I'm not proud of that weak joke)

But how does it feel?

My union has sent me FOUR "final reminder" text messages about the vote on the latest pay offer. I don't think they know what "final" means.

(From experience, voting or not voting makes no difference. They just keep on texting).

Betty Boop = Noodle Soup
(Cockney Ramen Slang)

Maybe espresso lungo can solve all your problems, but it's a long shot.