Le Jocqueur

not sure if he counts as a "celebrity" but the first and only time I ever gambled, on my 21st birthday, I put a few bucks on a horse race and the race announcer was Bob Nastanovich (ex-Pavement / Silver Jews)

I just want it to hang on until Michael Whelan dies. after that idgaf

censored again - "misunderestimation"

the next pope should have a ponytail and a ball python and a couple of katanas.

BENEDICTION OF FEAR

the government has announced three new bodily functions. here's what you need to know: 👇🧵

Loud wet lube sounds echoing down the hall when I'm alone at home and I'm freaking out because this is a dryjacking house

guy who transcribes his kid's name into Norse runes and gets it tattooed accidentally invokes a spell that makes each of his teeth turn alive

Thief is a movie about how cool it is to use Devices. every time there's a Device onscreen it's the main thing, often the only thing in the frame

thinking about the ambiguities of the word "maul". how many times does an animal have to bite you before it counts as being "mauled"? two bites? three? what if they're little ones? does the animal have to bite *and* scratch you? do you have to be knocked prone?

this expression is immediately and universally recognized as "caught with dick in something dicks don't traditionally go into"

*guy with the mandate of heaven voice* hey

acab includes ministries of defence. futurism is the torment nexus product development pipeline

I had to mute him after like the 8th Pinochet fancam

Now playing: ZENO OF INTEREST, about a man approaching a moral reckoning of his complicity in the brutal machinery of fascism, but eternally an infinitestimal degree removed from it

JERRY: "Man can do what he wills, but he cannot will what he wills."
GEORGE: Pshh. I can.
J: You can will what you will??
G: Yyyyyup.
J: If you can will what you will, why do you will what YOU will?
G: I will to will to will it.
J: Prove it! Will something different!
G: I will!!

[tune of "Iron Man"]:

[DJ Assault Voice]
Ribs
Pussy
Ribs N Pussy
Ribs Ribs Pussy Pusy
Ribs N Pussy

Kinda like how medieval serfs who escaped to the city and didn't get caught for a year and a day were let off the hook

When a menu says “select a protein,” I feel like I should be wearing gray coveralls and finding a table that lets me sit with my back to the telescreen

This book is a miracle. what if Richard Brautigan went to a toity Irish prep school

Can I spell "icup"? hmmm can I get an etymology please? part of speech? can you please use it in a sentence?

anything good on here yet?

Supposedly Eddie Van Halen never listened to music in his spare time and owned like 2 albums in his entire life

extraordinarily @georgialux.bsky.social coded

with both the Vonnegut name-drop and the mention of Harley setting himself on fire I kept waiting for you to drop the "soul felt like burning cat fur" line from Cat's Cradle

I think I hauve covid

need a hot woman to cut up my food for me

huge if true