AlexWattsEsq

Rich and fruity, but honestly stirred

This year's Christmas Cake is basking in the oven

Are you the one who platinumed Ulysses?

You can't win at watching a film or reading book. And the only way you lose is actually acting out intolerant, joyless wokerati propaganda in real life

I'm either tired of immensely self-serious internet scolds who apply crude readings derived from 21st century US tropes to literature from outside that ecosystem like it's a charter mark OR of immensely self-serious internet scolds who can't see a joke in front of their face. Either I win. And lose!

Filled with adoration for this beautiful fool

A least weasel. It fits in the palm of the hand.

If you’re wondering what a “least weasel” is, they absolutely live up to the name. This is the least amount of animal you can have that can still meet the bar for “is weasel”

Something fundamentally pleasing about this cat going bananas to the majestic backing Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1

Hosepipe bans? Aging infrastructure? Warm weather? IT'S ALL ME, YOU FOOLS!

I've got a record player in here. I might put Fog on the Tyne on, I might play some Tchaikovsky.

If you think you can improve on that I will fight you with fists and my teeth

I've made myself a lovely little espresso, piled a plate high with little pastries, stirred honey and jam through a bowl of yoghurt, poured a glass of orange juice and taken the lot on a tray to my armchair next to the radiator where my book is waiting.

It's me, I'm stealing it. For reasons that will become clear in time.

It's got to be Avon hasn't it? I can *hear* Paul Darrow giving the "I treated the Muppet actors with the same respect I treated myself fellow actors" interview

Ah, my first perfectly tuned baked potato of the season. What a pure pleasure

Exciting certain prehistoric day trips

I saw him on stage at the beginning of this year and it was basically all downhill after that

Beale sort of occupies the position of a saint in the irreligious ecosystem of my life.

Creativity Plups!

I think it exposes how politics is a world where you have to contort your beliefs to fit party loyalty. And of course how bad that is.

Remade for the Tiktok generation as The Cathedral Cuck Chair

Totally forgot Monty Woolley is in this. What a treat.

The Bishop's Wife is on BBC2! Christmas movies have begun!

"or the bin. The good old reliable bin will always be there for sir. Right at sir's comfortable level. Order declined."

"We are *so* sorry, but Pizza Basilico are grieved to find themselves unable to accept an order from an individual of sir's calibre. Perhaps the kebab house on the corner would be a better match for sir's obvious qualities."

Always a little shocked by the notification that pops up on the takeaway app - "The restaurant has accepted your order"

Were we in a situation where they might not? Is there more going on here than me giving them money and them firing a pizza off into the night?

please watch movies and read books and play games and look at art, please view it with your own eyes through a lens you made yourself and not just through video essayists and ending explained videos please im begging you

...to complain it would be better if people auctioned their properties, *like it says in the rules* is missing the point by a whole planet

What it all amounts to is both versions of the Traitors are spectacular pieces of television, uniquely televisual in a way people have turned out for. And they're made with incredible care for what will produce good, dramatic telly...

Civilian Traitors wouldn't have the winner breaking down and being immediately comforted by the losers, but the Celeb version wouldn't have the Traitor weeping with relief at being found out in the last round