John Dowie

Let's shut down the BBC for a month and see who misses it. I don't care about cakes, antiques, buying houses, chat shows, quizzes, celebrities on holiday, people dancing better than somebody else and interminable weather forecasts so I'm probably safe.

We all know about you and your holes

The hole in the polo mint stops it from collapsing

I put the car in scarred-for-life if that’s any help

Did all that and it didn’t cost me a penny

PBD hitting the nail on the head with his mighty humorous hammer

Today!

I once saw Warren Mitchell using a faulty contraceptive machine. He put a coin in and out came a spate of johnnies.

On Saturday I'll be joining my publishing pals poniesandhorsesbooks.com at smallpublishersfair.co.uk hoping to shift copies of THE GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN with the help of these lovely reviews. Please pop by if you're passing.

Can't understand why football, which is such a quiet and gentle game, could attract this kind of behaviour.

You can get singer-songwriters ones that provide rhythmic accompaniment when you're performing. They're called Eardrums

Number of times I’ve thought “I’ll just turn them down and enjoy some peace and quiet.” How people with ordinary ears manage is beyond me.

Not making me jealous at all

sent with love

Oh go on then you hard working genius you. I had an idea of lots of images of W C Fields in a circle surrounding a human ear with the caption "All fields around ear" but I can't be you and shouldn't think of trying

But first a song

Oh advertising! Everything about you is shit

poniesandhorsesbooks.com/product/befo...

"Maybe it's not too late/To learn how to love/And forget how to hate".

"Maybe it's not too late/To learn how to love/And forget how to hate". Ozzy

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Forget Spinal Tap. Best rock-and-roll gag ever occurs 1 hour 10 minutes in. Plus bravery, idiotic surgical choices, heart warming family tales and the triumph of one poor child against the entire planet. First time I've felt proud to be a Brummie. Ozzie Osbourne. www.paramountplus.com/home/

Some are so stupid that they don't realise their only chance of surviving is joining Reform while others are so stupid that they join Reform. This is what I call a joyous reformation. I love you Paul

tsk

there there

Also, let me highly recommend www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxBY... not for what the trailer says but because of some staggering humanity tales both good and bad and also jaw dropping

Me too!

Organ Blues. Mothers, Erdington. 1970. I'm there, somewhere. Part of me still is.

YouTube video by Music Selection Jan and Dean - Batman

youtu.be/gHNflqJE6ew?...

Never mind following - buy my book ! poniesandhorsesbooks.com/product/befo...

Praying hard they find a JCC cufflink.