Kevin Seccia

That’s definitely the reason. For sure. The first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions Harry Potter is “liberalism.”

A piece of shit spewing lies.

This dumb motherfucker is trying to refute countless photos, videos, firsthand accounts and the eyes of anyone with a working brain with, “one time I heard a crazy story.”

That’s fair!

Haha, I’m on the fence, too. I might have to step away from writing for a while…

Landman starring Billy Bob Thornton? What’s next, Waterwoman asterisking Barry Weave Roseounce?!

Hahaha

It’s not too late to say the smart thing, text it to the thread!

It turns out BOTH guests @benjaminjs.bsky.social & @kevinseccia.bsky.social are on Bluesky. Somehow I know this is Timmy’s fault.

New COLLEGE TOWN! Feat. @kevinseccia.bsky.social & Ben Siemon!

Hosted by Jan & Beebo (me & Seth Morris!) Beebo schools Jan about bananas as the government closes in! & more!

Produced by @scottaukerman.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social @cbbworld.bsky.social

www.comedybangbangworld.com

The city should let a couple of people each month cover themselves in bubble wrap and then get picked up by the garbage truck claw thing. Just a few times, up and down, and they put it on the local news.

Aside from being fascist fucking cowards, every ICE guy looks like the biggest loser you’ve ever met, on the worst day of their life. Just a sloppy, watery-eyed yokel, white-knuckling his way through a divorce, dribbling chaw down his goatee, and furious about an OF model who won’t message him back.

Hahaha

In Jurassic Park, why did Dr. Grant climb all the way down the tree to outrun the falling SUV, rather than climb around to the other side of the tree? If I’d been at that park it wouldn’t have went down like it did.

If I ask my therapist about her other clients and if she ever had one that was a murderer or in the mob and if I’m her favorite client or not, that shouldn’t count against my time.

There are some good deals out there on Santa Traps, if you search around!

Whoa!

And a large ostrich deviled egg for the middle!

I love the gym. So many great machines targeting every muscle group that people can use to check their phones.

A Newsletter of Humorous Writing by Luke Burns & James Folta A weekly newsletter dedicated to humorous writing and humorous writers. We round up the best short humor pieces and funny articles every week, and have some fun extras ever...

In this week's newsletter @jamesfolta.com and I round up funny writing by Carly Silverman in @pointsincase.com, and Emily Berge, Fletcher Michael, and @kevinseccia.bsky.social in @mcsweeneys.net!

Plus, a recent piece by James for @literaryhub.bsky.social

Check it out & subscribe at the link below.

Don’t be a piece of shit, or don’t date songwriters. You really gotta pick one.

A writer in LA is like an old-timey door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman, only you have to pitch your way thru everyone in the house, including the dog, and no one’s ever home. And you have to make the vacuums.

Eventually, months later, they let you know they’ve decided to stick with a broom.

“Kryptonite doesn’t hurt Superman. His body, on a subatomic level, recognizes the rock. It knows what it is, and that he belongs there, and it understands that he will never be there again. What brings him to his knees isn’t pain, it’s the sadness of knowing he can never go home.” -Don Draper

Going to start banging this drum regularly for the next month: the upcoming season of Jeopardy! will be STREAMING NEXT DAY on Peacock and Hulu. For the first time ever!! Cord cutters: time to get back into it!!!

I like the therapy seasons that are like a grab bag, after a week when not much is going on. “Things are okay. Pretty good… I forgot to workout yesterday. Also, I thought about this toy I had when I was 9… Oh, I got sad about a squirrel? Should I- Do you want me to talk about that?”

Literally begging people to stop saying “one hundred percent.” It’s a plague. Maybe even just change the percentage? To mix it up a little? Yes it’s probably weird that this bothers me.

Literally begging people to stop saying “one hundred percent.” It’s a plague. Maybe even just change the percentage? To mix it up a little? Yes it’s probably weird that this bothers me.

Please, please, please stop using AI for bits and jokes. It’s so dumb. We all know it’s bad at doing everything, there’s gotta be a better way of making that tired point that doesn’t burn hundreds of gallons of water and energy. You’re (probably) better than this!

Hahaha

There should be a time in the group chat where one person is like, “Okay guys, great work all around, but we’re shutting it down for a bit. See you all tomorrow.” Otherwise it never ends. Are we going all night?! Someone’s gotta step in!!

There’s a coffee shop in Burbank called “Romancing the Bean” which sounds gross and doesn’t even rhyme and it kills me that they didn’t call it “Romancing the Scone” and it bothers me every time I walk by.