@jasonfulton.bsky.social
Alleged Comedian. “CHiPs” Enthusiast. Once I was a DJ at a Middle School dance.
After decades of research, I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing… NOTHING in the world worse than someone watching you parallel park.
28.01.2025 22:55 — 👍 206 🔁 8 💬 17 📌 3
He who writes this is a fucking nimrod.
16.02.2025 06:08 — 👍 125 🔁 7 💬 5 📌 0If media outlets don’t start mentioning “Real Genius” or “Top Secret!” soon, they will have me to deal with!
02.04.2025 06:47 — 👍 113 🔁 6 💬 12 📌 0
Hike ‘em up, Donnie!
06.04.2025 01:10 — 👍 108 🔁 4 💬 13 📌 0The anti-trans movement is welfare for losers.
09.04.2025 22:46 — 👍 8338 🔁 1701 💬 94 📌 16These motherfuckers….
14.02.2025 22:45 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
It’s 4:15, I’m home from work, and I’m about to go get dinner around 4:30 or 5:00. I’m like Spuds MacKenzie up in here.
14.02.2025 21:20 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 02 more hours until a 3 day weekend. Tick Tock.
14.02.2025 17:57 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“Wanna know what’s fly? Try these Ritz Veggie Chips.”
-Possibly the whitest thing I’ve ever said
My life can be summed up by the fact my phone autofills the words “Kajagoogoo” and “Belvedere”.
14.02.2025 16:46 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0It’s okay. My wife doesn’t think I’m funny either.
14.02.2025 16:00 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If you're a professional bowler and your name is Robert, I think "Bobby Pins" would be a great nickname for you.
14.02.2025 15:59 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0You can't tell me what to do! You're not my debilitating anxiety!
31.01.2025 16:20 — 👍 129 🔁 42 💬 2 📌 0My age is made apparent by the mug of pens on my desk.
07.02.2025 11:36 — 👍 221 🔁 39 💬 13 📌 2Be kind you fucking jerk.
12.02.2025 17:16 — 👍 98 🔁 35 💬 3 📌 1I laugh so hard when I fall that I also piss my pants.
12.02.2025 18:57 — 👍 28 🔁 9 💬 3 📌 0Happy Valentine's Day to all my seemingly very VERY reluctant admirers
14.02.2025 13:37 — 👍 238 🔁 65 💬 9 📌 1Has anyone tried unplugging me and plugging me back in?
13.02.2025 22:19 — 👍 122 🔁 23 💬 7 📌 2Sorry I'm your ideal man
13.02.2025 13:59 — 👍 24 🔁 11 💬 2 📌 1“You wanna touch her boobs? Play Enya in your car on your date so she’ll think you’re romantic as fuck.”
- Me in high school (circa 1992)
Also, I never touched a boob in high school.
It’s a love story as old as time....
14.02.2025 15:15 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“No one thinks you’re funny.” -my family
14.02.2025 15:14 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Remember the 80’s when the two Coreys ruled the Earth? They were kind and benevolent rulers.
14.02.2025 15:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0When Sheila promised him "Noods", Dave did not realize that she meant pictures of the Ramen she was having for lunch.
14.02.2025 15:12 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“Man, some of y’all spend way too much time dwelling on the past” he thinks while tweeting about the 1980’s.
14.02.2025 15:09 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0"Stop being such a dipshit." -Mom
14.02.2025 15:06 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0If my mom read my Blue Sky I'm pretty sure this would be her favorite skeet.
14.02.2025 15:06 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0“Go drink a bottle of Windex.” - My advice to Clearion, King of the Glass People
14.02.2025 15:04 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Imagine the pride my Kindergarten teacher would feel if she read my jokes.
14.02.2025 15:02 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0I’m a dork. but like a cool dork.
14.02.2025 15:00 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
