Friends Kafka

spinach is queer coded

You'll hear it when i cum laud

Nationalists actually have a lot in common with Columbus. Once they die, they'll end up at the wrong location.

Thirsty is a double entendre in the near future

sting, the joke is sting. it's a lord of the rings joke and also a the police joke. you are welcome for the explanation of my very good and original joke. i expect to blow up after this. thnak you.

Fun fact, halloween is part of a broader aesthetic called ciderpunk

Never bring a knife to a gun fight. It's against the rules

Little known fact, the first ever strain of crack is called OG Bush

My girl said she could fix me, but I still ended up cheating. Whelp, guess who's getting dumped for their lying ass.

i've noticed my friends haven't been listening to me talk to myself lately

sword that sings "don't stand so close to me" when orcs are near

Bottle says refrigerate after opening but it doesnt say when to drink

I can beat up any dude who thinks he can land a plane

Dating siamese twins but they share a body and also a head

The audio clip is from death grips

I have so little faith in myself i get imposter syndrome when i make scrambled eggs

Fellas is it gay to have two first names

Just found out my sister has an onlyfans. Right now I wish I'd been an onlychild.

Me outside the crematorium

Telling the worst people I know that I can't make it to their surprise party

Upstairs neighbors being loud again, don't have a broom so I gotta stack up a buncha shit so I can bang my roomba against the ceiling

If mazi were elon's dog like, it'd be pronounced a whole lot differently

My inner monologue finally hit puberty

"They're sneaking into our country," says man trying to sneak into heaven

Church of Scientology sponsored chewing gum called L Ron Hubba Bubba

If you use lead-free paint then you probably drink o'douls you pussy

They're not really missed opportunities if I shoot them point blank. When it comes to killing dreams I've got 100% accuracy.

I'm actually a progressive conservative. The earth is flat because there's a hole in the ozone layer, which lets out all the carbonation.

Falafel are just Egyptian hush puppies and crop circles are biblically accurate snow angels. You're welcome.

Going to the clown Taco Bell for some bajajajaja blast