Kristi Payne

Some experts expressed disagreement about whether the President can fly by flapping his arms very fast

Chestnut mare for sure

OH MY GOSH I NEED DETAILS ON THAT COAT also you look gorgeous

See saw (lifelong Alabamian)

Thanksgiving is over WE IN THESE STREETS
-them, probably

I bought the horses. I ate the things. I went to the places.

“Ohhhh, did you blow your entire paycheck doing 100% of your Christmas shopping so you could just enjoy the rest of December?? You must feel so accomplished!

Be a real shame if I… suddenly needed four new tires. Immediately.”

- My car

Our firm’s is Tw Cen MT and honestly, emails and spreadsheets look so weird to me in any other font, now.

Ooo. What would you compare it to?

This is an incredibly correct take, and perfectly stated.

For sure. I started to address the whole tie in to the oppression of women via constant pregnancy, but it's too depressing of a topic rn, considering... everything.

My dad was one of six kids born into a dairy farming family. They worked their asses off and when the schools closed for harvesting season, they spent their days loaned out to other nearby farms. So I get we're not chronologically THAT far removed from the "workforce supply" mentality, but damn.

But to be fair, I am the only child of an only child (mom) and I have an only child (daughter.) So it has certainly never occurred to me that my way of thinking about this might not be flawless.

I get that in the olden times, we had to have a bunch of kids because a) free labor and b) some of them were... not unlikely to die. But in the year of our lord 2025, I will never understand the need or desire to have a bunch of kids. They're probably all gonna live, and you're an accountant, Mark.

Being a parent is such an embodied experience. You read, and you talk to people, and all that, and it's all useful, even essential, but you learn how to be a parent most of all by being physically present with, engaged with, connected to, your kid.

You, as a person. With your specific kid.

Right, allegedly.

Get it while the gettin’s good, I guess!

That’s why they got the Gold Plus. It even works in alcohol!

Just picturing one of them out there ripping the packet open with their dentures in the parking lot… I both do and do not want to know which resident took this. Or maybe it was an outside booty call/conjugal visit.

I’ve heard that. Hopefully there’s a condom wrapper also drifting around the facility somewhere 😅

I’m happy for them, truly. I just do not want to be confronted with evidence of it at 9 a.m. Or ever.

I’m wrestling with how I know this to be true but my brain can simply not accept evidence of it 😅

An opened packet of a product called Gold Hard Steel Plus lying in a parking lot. It’s apparently a honey based supplement that works with alcohol. The slogan at the top is “When you need it to work!”

OK BUT WHY DID I FIND THIS IN THE PARKING LOT OF MY MOTHER’S INDEPENDENT LIVING FACILITY SLASH NURSING HOME??

Chicago Promoted Two Police Officers After Investigators Found They Engaged in Sexual Misconduct The Chicago Police Department’s promotions system allows officers’ disciplinary records to be ignored. Despite years of reform efforts, nothing has changed.

One officer was accused of spreading a nude photo of a woman he knew.

Another was found responsible for acts of domestic violence and sexual assault.

In spite of their disciplinary records, the Chicago Police Department promoted both of them.

With @invisible.institute

A fun fact I’m learning about perimenopause is that alcohol no longer has the same effect it used to. At all. Because god forbid we have any escape from the rest of the horrors of hormonal revolt. lol

Message thread: Buyer: This is not authentic these purses are made in Paris France not Spain Me: Babe do some research. Me: If you’re seriously interested I would welcome you to have it professionally authenticated. If for any reason it comes back inauthentic I’ll refund you the fee. Lol.

A screenshot of the Louis Vuitton website stating their bags are made in France, Spain, Italy and the US

I hate FB Marketplace buyers so gd much

No, you should definitely park directly in front of me in the airport waiting lot in your huge SUV & keep your megawatt LED headlights on the entire time. Even/especially if you see me squinting and holding my hands in front of my eyes. Makes perfect sense. If I weren’t fucking blind now, I’d move.

Collared shirt szn???

As a Bama fan, agreed.

Cartoon character with a bunch of swords pointed at him

The cornbread cookie (and ONLY the cornbread cookie) is actually pretty good.