grifter's bone(r)

They want us to fight each other so we don't rise up and take over the rodeo

open your eyes cowpeople

*shuffles out of my bog to pin a picture to the town notice board and then shuffles away*

in America they have a 92 year old man named Willy and they won't let him stop working. t hey push him on stage and he cries and they don't care he has to sing all his songs before they let him go

BORED 🔄 COMPLETELY STRESSED OUT

"the cycle"

"you shouldn't drink zero sugar energy drinks that shit shortens your lifespan!"

sugar free drinks are so good when u ain't got a bitch in ur ear telling u that aspartame is poison

Violence is never accept-able! The point of society is to minimize the suffering of individuals! Fine! I'll switch to institutionalized violence carried out economically!

i assumed you wanted more of a "pick a card" magic expert

magic expert

it is w i m d y my dudes

The united states is bad (map)

Yea

Coworkers complained to HR again about my stink lines 😒

excited to get horned up watching THE FLY tonight and to see naked buff jeff goldblum turn into a flesh monster @pjkatie420.bsky.social

#MayThe4thBeWithYou

can't believe the only thing I needed to do to fix my self esteem was get my septum re-pierced I feel sO DAMN CUTE

gardening season begins

I don't think pre-workout is good for u when ur sick it makes my brain go funny at normal times

the smart bird feeder is now a load bearing institution for my mental health

accidentally bought Ocean Breeze scented wormwood from the alchemist and all of my potions for the past couple of weeks have smelled like your mom's car in the 90s

back on my bullshit again // please rate my tinder bio on a scale of smash or pass

turns out exercise can fix ur libido and I'm this close 👌 to downloading the apps again please please talk me out of it

To improve efficiency we are replacing due process with "Just trust me bro"

1. pasta
2. orange
3. sauce
4. ????
5. idk like a fuckton of garlic I hope

me to barista: yeah I kind of think that I would have been a really good papal inquisitor. like I would be really good at coming up with questions that are hard for heretics to lie about

barista: fool that you are, and wicked as well, for there is none more wayward than the heresiarch you call Pope

this piece felt like a knife in gut but like in a familiar way?

You Can’t Fuck the Sad Away a thousand nights and nothing to show for it

This is my 32nd piece for substack since last June! Pretty proud of this loloverruled.substack.com/p/you-cant-f...