Ed Reck

I wish everything in the world was fixed so the only thing we had to care about was shit like this

Can’t wait to finally turn Fantasia into the cocaine and absinthe fueled dream ballet it was intended to be

I thought they stopped putting toys in cereal boxes but a peace prize fell out of mine.

Writing a physics thesis on crop dusting on escalators

therapist: what’s on your mind

me: my kindness hasn’t killed a single person so what is that about

The players didn’t quit on the team or each other. They seemed to genuinely care about their coaches and the guidance/development they were getting. Also, (although it isn’t as surprising now) finally getting to play UNC AND beating them at home was fantastic.

My kid informed me that 6-7 is cringe now. Our collective nightmare is at an end. Peace be with you 🕊️

Sadly, the The More You Know star has gone supernova and left a dense compact object called a Should've Known black hole in its place.

Screenshot of two text messages received from my sister. The first says, “Girl FUCK this episode of ds9,” and the second reads “Old man Jake is making me cry.”

Screenshot of a few texts back and forth between my sister and I. My sister says, “Oh okay Sisko is having a midlife crisis that’s fun,” and I responded with “Is that the first episode with the goatee lol” to which she responds, “Yes lol.” Her next text says, “The cardassians are all so bitchy lmao”

Screenshot of a text message received from my sister. It reads, “Sometimes Odo looks like a saucy lesbian and do not ask me for examples bc I cannot give them to you”

Screenshot of a few texts back and forth between my sister and I. My sister says, “NOT KIRA CARRYING OBRIENS BABY,” and I responded with “They had to do something for Nana and Sid’s baby lol” to which she responds, “NANA AND SID HAD A BABY?????????”

some highlights from my sister watching #DS9 for the first time

#StarTrek #DeepSpaceNine #StarTrekDS9

If you are Miami, Texas, Notre Dame, or Alabama crying that "you belong in the CFP", then maybe you should look at yourselves in the mirror and face the facts that if you had won your games, you would be in...

Don't talk to me while I'm slow blinking at my cat

Among the infinite parallel universes with infinite versions of me, I hope at least one of us is sleeping

He choked the kick, OMG

And he ends up as Santa’s house pet. Brutal turn for the big fella.

The guy in line in front of me at Popeye’s was dressed in full elf attire, including a hat & striped stockings & shoes with pointed toes.

I didn’t know what to say, so I said, “Thank you for your service.”

The demons I battle daily all revolve around “what can I put in my mouth that will make me happy”.

you’ve heard of elf on a shelf, but have you heard of my foot in your ass?

Ok I totally misunderstood what pool noodles were, my bad.

Great news, I fixed the flaw in Bluesky where no one was liking or reposting my skeets by deciding to be funny

Some important dates for #UCF fans to remember:

Jan. 2-16 - Football Transfer Portal window
Feb. 4 - Spring Signing Period starts

Players on the two teams competing in the CFP national championship game get a five-day window from Jan. 20-24.

hey I’m not just sitting here doing nothing i’m grinding down my teeth

Told my wife I couldn't watch the new Frankenstein movie because I was Igoraphobic lol and she threw me out of a moving car.

A packet of instant pasta called Quick Spirals

When you don't have time for the full freakout

Fire Marshal: "There are too many kung fu fighters in here"

ME: i just saw a girl sitting on a tuffet eating curds

WIFE: no way

ME: no just curds

I don’t run very often but when I do it’s roughshod.

Me: So like, did you get bitten by a piano?

Billy Joel: Don't ever speak to me again.

I don’t root for Duke often (almost never), but when I do…they are playing the Gators.

Can confirm, Libre 3+ readings are just dead ass wrong, always far lower than actuals. Dangerous to say the least.

Ham in a C-clamp on a plate