Howard Zyn

*The most disheveled, exhausted liberal arts professor in history*: “So, in conclusion, while they were called ‘National Socialists,’ the Nazi party was an explicitly right-wing, authoritarian movement. There were NO leftist Nazis. Any questions?”

Graham Platner: *raises right arm*

Palantir just added me to the Charlie Kirk Canary list because surveillance data shows I was not sufficiently aroused when watching an AI tribute where Christ is giving Charlie a sponge bath. Anyone know how to file for unemployment?

Globalize the Enchilada

Look, what Grok said was problematic for sure, but I can’t stay mad at him, he made “808s and Heartbreak”

conservatives will say Stalin was worse than Hitler because he started a famine, but then Israel does it and its all “Hamas would just use the food to build potato guns.”

“Dubai chocolate” is like the Turducken of slave labor

u know Israel is cooked cuz my jewish boomer dad started referring to it as “the zionist project”

In recognition of her public support for the children of Gaza, I’ve added Ms. Rachel to my hall pass

Swiss guard just got issued Glock 19s w switches

they’re putting dual Pioneer subwoofers in the popemobile as we speak

Father, you’ve got nacho cheese and Taki dust all over your Chasuble!

Deep dish pope

Fievel would’ve hated Israel 😞

Meiselas: That’s our message to you from the MeidasTouch Network: Grow a spine. Vote against cloture. Vote against the CR. The American people are with you. Stop this hostile government takeover. Fight for the people.

Chuck Schumer sold out American workers and laundered GOP attack on social programs to protect his stock portfolio. Giving lip service to the underserved while helping destroy their safety net is just “woke Republicanism.” When this is over, collaborators get their heads shaved.

preventing a lawsuit by warning the dentist I bite

buying angry eyelids for your Jeep Wrangler so everyone knows you’re mean is middle school coded

the craziest thing about going to high school in the scene era was that the most predatory piece of shit you knew wore cat ears

Clitoral Race Theory

My mood at work always improves so much after a boozy lunch meeting. Driving the ambulance is way more fun with a buzz. Weewoo weewoo!

actually it is DOWN as in “south”… The Devil is clearly from Indiana

I’m trying to cultivate an “unemployed 25yo BF who sells weed out of his GF’s dorm room” vibe

This is me , fashionably late to BS, shoutin “too many furries, where the big naturals at?!”

damn same..

all cops are babie

Libs blaming black male voters for Trump pt2… u tried to cancel Chappelle the fuck u think was gonna happen

what I’m smoking

we are so back

I’d probably show up on Rogan with leftist talking points, but end up eating an 8th of shrooms and ranting about how we should ban cisgender athletics

Responding to haters with “my dad could beat off your dad”