Chumbus

my cat attempted to communicate a series of zeroes to Northernlion and I have denied her this

when you are born is it your birthday? if yes, then it's the first birthday you have, so when you turn a year old that's your second birthday. So when you are turning x years old that is actually always your (x + 1)th birthday. Use this to make people hate and avoid you.

I liked when we called wolves' babies cubs instead of pups even though cub is more like the word for a baby cat or whatever. amorphous quadrupedal carnivore infant, could become anything

majestic glowing artistic image of the new dinosaur which resembles a spinosaurus with a unicorn horn standing on some marshy land with cloudy sky in the background. the caption reads Photo credit: Dani Navarro

Photo credit: Dani Navarro

I doubt photographer Dani Navarro is getting paid enough for this

Look I'm not trying to stunt on the guy but I do most of this on a regular basis and I didn't even cheat on my wife

when you're too poor to get the flea treatment for both cats you medicate one of them and just rub them together for a while

movies sure are a lot of movies

corn chex or wheat chex?

do you think the Predator species are called Yautja because when they attack you go YEEOUCH-a

My Bologna was my first thought and is probably a good answer. But the first time I heard anything by or about Weird Al was when I saw this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh4z...

a Google search for "curling lesbian." the AI overview states, "Curling is widely regarded as an inclusive, LGBTQ+ friendly sport with active participation from lesbian, gay, and queer athletes, particularly in Canada." There is an accompanying photo of two blonde women in athletic uniform who are presumably curling lesbians.

Yes I resent that AI overview is at the top of search results but this softens the bitterness

online bambling

sometimes I try to look up a smell so I can smell it, on the Internet. I forget it does not do that.

mini plastic babies in 10 colors though really it is 9 colors and "Latin"

blue baby in the king cake is a really funny bit

a bunch of little plastic babies such as one might put inside a King Cake as per tradition. bubble inserts note that the babies have a "unique creative shape" even though they are just baby shaped (one of the babies says "Hello" in this bubble but that is not a shape) and that the babies are BPA free showing a baby dissolving into nothing which is I guess what BPAs do?

kiwi cats are from mew zealand

Fuck whoever invented the duality of all things. SOMETIMES IT SHOULD JUST BE ONE OF IT.

do you think they will pierce a corpse's ears? like maybe nana always coveted earrings but was too afraid so wanted to have her ears pierced after death? would they do weirder piercings? "they" could be either funeral home or body art store. or whoever I guess

It is genuinely exhausting to cohabit with someone who is constantly attempting to be considerate of you about things that you have explicitly begged not to be considered for. And you can't get mad because they are Being Nice. But sometimes what I need instead of Being Nice is Leaving Me Out Of It.

more so than ever

I like the meme where people eat berries

Google search "unabomber why he called that" search result answer "Why is it called a bomb?" sorry I'm tired this is stupid

scoundrel!

I can hear the sound

Told my mom I had a dream that she wanted me to have a baby and we fought about it, and she laughed and said that was about the last thing I should ever do, and I didn't want to but now I'm kind of offended

Horny. I think his ongoing fascination with hobbits is indicative he is horny. I do not think he is horny ABOUT the hobbits necessarily, I just think it is coming from the same place inside him.

the feeling horse people get when gently removing the amniotic sack from a newborn foal is probably a lot like when I am peeling the shrinkwrap off of a frozen pizza and letting it breathe for the first time

my cat, after she has died and ascended to a higher plane in which she can, at her leisure, review the contents of her earthly life while now understanding human speech: "why the fuck does it talk about my butthole so much"

those who know me well will recognize that this post is what I did instead of saying "his name is Bibendum actually" in a concurrent discussion

any time there is the Michelin Man a bunch of bitches are like "actually his name is Bibendum did you know that" shut the fuck up man