Alan Zilberman

I don’t get quoted in trailers as often as my colleagues, but when I do, it is for gloriously tasteless films.

(cc @crooked-marquee.bsky.social).

youtu.be/qoLmJZ9suAk?...

We all have our Ralphie moments.

Last week I watched The Last Slumber Party, now I’m watching The Slumber Party Massacre. Damn it, the continuity has me all confused.

I’m no expert, but the subtext is their mass layoff bluff has failed.

This is indistinguishable from a Kendall Roy pep talk.

But why?

Review to come, but this was facile and didactic to a fault. Put another way:

The doc told me to reject the evidence of my critical thinking skills. It was its final, most essential command.

Tonight I see 2+2=5, the new documentary about George Orwell, while living in DC during a shutdown and *waves hands* all THIS. The Q&A after will be moderated by Terry Moran, who was fired from ABC News for describing Stephen Miller accurately.

Does “Orwellian” even have any use? Guess I’ll see!

Bari Weiss Dated Kate McKinnon, But Doesn’t Want ‘Political Points’ New York Times columnist Bari Weiss and Saturday Night Live comedian Kate McKinnon dated as undergraduates at Columbia University.

I’m so sorry.

If Michael Mann makes a sequel to The Insider, Kate McKinnon should play Bari Weiss (they used to date). Just imagine the award narratives!

If only I’d known this earlier.

Just a few small beers.

Just a few small beers.

I wrote up the fest for my alt weekly’s fall arts guide! I didn’t know you’d be there. Let’s hang :)

Right back atcha Steve

Never do stuff like this, but if any editors I follow want to publish my funny, embarsssing story of meeting Marc Maron when I was 19 years old that easily doubles as a WTF remembrance, please get in touch. It has an arc and everything.

Ebert was right.

Told ya it was bad.

Boyfriend Reports Good Part of Movie Coming Up The boyfriend of long-suffering woman Talia Lefferts reportedly took it upon himself to point out that a funny scene of “This is Spinal Tap” is seconds away from happening.

The real cause of the male loneliness epidemic.

Long Story Short is so great, and not just because one character shits on late-career Arcade Fire.

A little free library where the only book is Hillbilly Elegy by JD Vance

Spotted on a stroll through Capitol Hill yesterday afternoon. Somehow I don’t think anyone is going to snag that slim volume.

Fashion at a goth show is so great. You get lazy folks in plaid, and other folks who are wearing revealing, intentional pieces that signal an affinity with the whole culture. It casts a wide net.

I am wearing a black button down and a pink Teen Beat shirt underneath (cc @abeaujon.bsky.social).

for every post you make about a major pop album today i decree you make one bandcamp friday purchase

Balatro. I am mildly obsessed with breaking the game.

The Smashing Machine - Spectrum Culture Dwayne Johnson’s first purely dramatic performance has some gravitas, but director Benny Safdie ultimately does not know what to do with the charismatic actor he miscast for his lead role.

The Smashing Machine is not good.

Its character development is obscure to a fault. None of the fight scenes are well-staged.

Most importantly: Dwayne Johnson is miscast. He has the physique, sure, but he’s a 50-something playing someone nearly half is age. That role needs youthful folly.

Beetlebum

I’m glad you keep a spreadsheet to track this stuff (I do too).

I just realized Only Murders in the Building is obscenely Woody Allen-coded, just toned down for gentile audiences, and I can’t unsee it. Yes, I realize it is pathetic it took me five seasons.

There is a DDL monologue late in this movie where you cannot help but think “Yup, that’s why he’s the best.” The rest of it, though…