Nicely Nicely Jones

‘Every part’ is an impressively broad statement. I appreciate there’s no desire to fight the ‘nasty party’ label any more but ‘it will be my government’s legislative priority to remove your right to time off work if your spouse dies’ is going to be quite the sell.

From BBC news: "Hotel redevelopment plans refused for fifth time" above a photo of a large three storey detached building

Oh wow did you hear about the mysterious fire next week

Looks like things were just too hot.

Most of us, objectively speaking, live better lives than 99% of the kings, queens or emperors in history. We’re warmer, cleaner, better fed, better educated, better informed, have better health care and more opportunities for fun and entertainment

Most of us. Not all.

There is still more to do.

What does he do?

Yeah. It’s the wurst case ever.

If you’re having a Great Gatsby-themed party, you’ve never read the book.

Good morning.
Sorry about all the triple texts.

if evolution doesn’t exist explain pokémon to me.

This. It looks easy, but that so many politicians who should know better muck it up shows that it is hard. Doesn’t help that the the voices in their ears are either pollsters encouraging brownian motion around the issues de jour or donors and lobbyists.

And in that pause between pitch and contact - longer than logic, shorter than hope - we remembered why baseball existed long before we judged a sport's value by viral moments and betting apps. It is the romance of failure. The mortal beauty of trying and missing seven times out of 10 and still being considered great. It is the only sport where patience is a weapon, and panic the surest death. You cannot simply run out the clock in baseball; you must face it, pitch by terrifying pitch, until it finally releases you.

Did not expect one of the best paragraphs I’d read about baseball would come from an Irish newspaper

www.irishexaminer.com/sport-column...

Hmm. Perhaps he is just reflecting on what he learned by putting a range of wholly-unqualified Reform folk in charge of council services around the country.

Damn. This is brave.

It's also confident.

And brilliant.

He's owning the things which his opponents want to hit him with, and turning them into assets. Democrats in government need to learn from this and stop being afraid to lean into diversity.

Claim it. Own it. Use it.

Just in

Our Granddad is 100 and fought in D-day and he thinks Farage is the right man to sort Britain out. He says he reminds him of one of the commanders he fought alongside with distinction. In the next few weeks he's going to auction off his medals and donate all the money to Reform. Anyone know how much an Iron Cross is worth?

Absolute perfection. #Reform

Saturday Giggle! Guess when I found this one...
#jokesters

A lavish bathroom designed to mimic opulence using only cheap white marble and excessive gilt. The walls and floors are covered in faux white marble with exaggerated veining, and every fixture—mirror frames, faucets, towel racks—is coated in shiny gold paint. A large, ornate bathtub sits in the center, surrounded by gilded columns and plastic chandeliers. The overall aesthetic is gaudy and over-the-top, aiming for grandeur but clearly budget-conscious.

...and when I asked chatGPT to "Create an image of an oligarch's bathroom using only cheap white marble and gilt," this is what I got, with the comment: "Here it is — a bathroom that screams “I have money!” but whispers “I spent it all on gold spray paint and faux marble.” (Check out the ALT text).

It's like someone asked DALL-E in 2023: "Create an image of an oligarch's bathroom using only cheap marble and gilt."

Wonderful.

[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS] 1 NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]: Hello there 2 [A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk]. DAD: Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids? 3 NT EMPLOYEE: Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail! 4 MUM: That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids? 5 NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]: Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot! 6 NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]: Listen - that's their call [Calls emanating from the landscape]: tut-tut woke-woke 7 NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]: They are extremely sensitive and fragile... But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery. 8 KIDS [pointing]: There they are! [Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure]. [Little people noises]: woke-woke tut-tut woke-woke 9 [Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]: Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house. [Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]: tut-tut woke-woke 10 MUM [pointing]: What's that one doing there? NT EMPLOYEE: Oh, that's so sweet… 11 [We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away]. NT EMPLOYEE: I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph… 12 [We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]: Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE? [ends]

If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...

Very clever - unless Menotti is just a guy with a sense of humour.

*Larkin
(Pesky autocorrect!)

This is worryingly clever and very, very good. I feel Shelley might enjoy it, given his iconoclastic leanings, but I'm pretty sure Larking would hate it...

Two people in a small sailboat, one hanging over the side precariously. Caption: Everything will kill you. So choose something fun.

You may have heard that the Universe is trying to kill you. bsky.app/profile/phil... wrote a book about it. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_f...!

So...

A graph of a giraffe. The x axis is length, the y axis is height, the head is obviously top right of the graph as it is the apex of both stats

Hi bluesky I made you a giraph ok thanks

They'll help you simplify the complex factors in your life, no matter how rational or irrational, proper or improper, imaginary or complex.

Check, absolutely.
There are too many moving parts and too many things to go wrong - even if everything is done right, by competent people, acting in good time and in good faith.

Great guide from @dankaszeta.bsky.social explaining how the White House is laid out. Very useful when trying to make sense of much the nonsense these days.