Abacus Wizard

holy crow this is brilliant

marysplaining

I love the lighting and the zappy special effects!

That’s an awful idea!

You can accomplish largely the same goal for *far* less ∆v with a simple suborbital trajectory designed to burn up on reentry.

Surely he would welcome the challenge and the opportunity to show off how clever he is, right?

Dang, that would make me SO stimulated (economically, emotionally, and morally).

No. Of course not.

They’re *landing pads* for spaceships.

Didn’t you see Stargate?

“Fanfare for the Common Man.”

Unsurprising, you say? Overdone, you say? But what you do not expect is that when the french horns join the trumpets about a minute in, the first stage of booster rockets activates.

A Tale of Two Kitties by Charles “Memelord” Dickens

This is exactly what the “MAKE RACISTS AFRAID AGAIN” slogan has been about the whole time.

Yeah, nobody’s gonna call him Ming the Magenta or Ming the Moustachioed or Ming the Measurer now

and then

The only follow-up to this that I would truly respect is

Counterpoint: a lot of powerful jerks ARE trying to make it illegal.

It’s that final “journalism is better” claim that really fills me with speechless rage.

“I never thought the armor-plated wolvrons would eat MY face,” sobs local Armor-Plated Wolvrons Eating People’s Faces Party voter

eeeeeeeeeeegh he’s really earning the Merciless title there

Due to their lack of hand-to-hand connection, the enchantment failed. Now their machines will forever be only glorified chatbots instead of becoming electronic gods.

And the wig

They are utterly without honor.

There’s a guy I’ve known for 25 years and I’m still not entirely certain whether the “e” at the end of his last name is silent or not.

There's literally a storyline in which Annie is fostered by a Mrs Bleating-Harte (seriously not making this up) because Warbucks is currently faking his own death, and Mrs B-H forces Annie to *go to school* when she *really* wants to be working a job (AS A KID) because she wants to "earn her keep."

Yeah, I only knew Little Orphan Annie from the mystery storyline in the Smithsonian Collection, and was excited when I found a giant hardcover compilation in a used bookstore... and then was shocked when I realized it was ALL anti-union / anti-New Deal propaganda. Every single bit of it.

There are two wolves inside you. One of them is hunting. The other is Wolf Jesus.

Heck, if that’s the only standard, *I* should be running for president.

I think the right hand rule is (curls fingers into a thumbs-up) great!

Imagine going back in time and telling General Washington “No sir, it is impossible to turn the 17th-century culture of the New England colonies into a liberal democracy, no matter how many troops we send”

(with apologies to Prince Thun for borrowing his majestic mane)