Amar

GNX (2024)

Thinking of all the disparate streams of history that had to converge for me to be able to listen to Gas Pedal at my desk at work. Feeling overwhelmed.

Virgin lookalike contest at the dumpster behind the school, 5 PM

I was going to make a movie about what happens to my dang sweat when I wear those special shirts from Target but damn it if Big Hollywood didn’t beat me to it

Movie advertise Channel via Groceries. This is exactly what @pattymo.com @kathbarbadoro.bsky.social @eliyudin.bsky.social were talking about on @whatatimepod.bsky.social

Gorton Fisherman lookalike contest, my room

A sitcom about a high-maintenance lawyer named Courtney and it’s called May It Please The Court. This writing shit is easy

None of my family follows me on here yet, so let me state clearly and unequivocally that I got to see/touch boobies this week.

A lot but this one is just a dumb joke I made

Going to get even more granular and put “bigamist” in my bio

food should not be made from cloth imo. but ultimately I am not in a position to condescend because I have sucked in a big ball of yarn like one long spaghetti before and did not hate the experience.

I am able to counteract this anxiety by spending time (i.e. hanging out) with a group of similar aged/minded peers (i.e. friends) who will often react to what I have said with staccato bursts of noise they produce with their mouths (i.e. laff)

The President and I are working on a plan to make Matt Gaetz’ hair taller.

I get annoyed whenever I hear that fact “we know more about outer space than we do about the deep ocean.” That is not true. I know what is in the deep ocean: water.

I think The Bear *is* a comedy. A man — cooking??

The protagonist of the next True Detective should be named Trudy Tective. I think that would be fun

my dad's reaction to being seated behind a couple on a flight is actually the most persistent genetic trait of our family line

I've heard the words "grease 'er down, Timmy" precede a bass solo and I don't think I have ever felt an energy like that since

"sub" is arguably my favorite variety of sume - apart, of course, from "con"

The moral arc of the universe looks like the Cool S

People don't like it when I point out that following common linguistic sense, "dumpling" means "Child of dump"

Yes

I think it is very interesting and ironic that Oppenheimer will not “bomb” at the box office. These are the sorts of intriguing thoughts that are always tickling me. I can’t even begin to tell you how many fanciful chortles I let out a day, marveling at my own imagination.

Jamie from the Progressive commercials needs to act his age. His hair style is a desperate attempt to cling to youth and it is frankly not a good look.

Hope she notices you being performatively over-confused by Pinkydoll’s TikToks, king

I want my girlfriend to be so tall she has to carry me around in her purse. I want her to be “giving marsupial”, if you’ll allow me the turn of phrase

T E E F

I don’t understand how people describe suspects to police sketch artists. The most I’d be able to say confidently is “well, he was sort of your classic Guy”

If you become my girlfriend it is your DUTY to make sure no one besides me ever knows that you are hot. I would kindly ask that you wear these when we are out together, or I will throw what I like to call “a tantrum”

Cross-pollinating Twitter lore. This is like when Roman wisdom was rediscovered in the Dark Ages.