HipEponymous PoorGirl

when president garfield was dying, they shoved a bunch of stuff up his butt in the hopes it would save him. it didn't work, in fact it definitely killed him quicker. but if any white house guys are reading this: you're the chosen one, you can make it work

jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline

JUST IN: I have imposed a 69% tariff on Your Mom

STOP LYING ABOUT HOW LONG IT TAKES TO MAKE A STIR FRY IT LITERALLY TAKES FOREVER AND A VERY SHARP KNIFE

It's like ten thousand firecrackers when all you need is a stick of dynamite.

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The great thing about turning 50 and having a 16 year old son is how we have the same number of chin hairs.

Someone described her as evil Carmen Sandiego and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Closure of northern Minnesota camp is ‘the greatest story.’ Here’s why. Willow River, Minn., camp One Heartland is for sale after serving kids there for nearly three decades.

After nearly three decades, a Minnesota summer camp for kids with HIV/AIDS is closing and up for sale... because retroviral drugs are so effective that there aren't enough campers.

Science works, y'all.

www.startribune.com/closure-of-n...

5/5, no notes. 🤌

I’m really gonna buckle down and get in shape for THIS apocalypse, guys.

I’m so happy you’re here,
@beaneaterb.bsky.social

"Couldn't help but make me feel ashamed to live in a land
Where justice is a game."
--Bob Dylan

[Trying to sleep]
Brain:
Brain:
Brain:
Brain:
Brain:
Brain: ᶜᵃˡˡ ʲᵍ ᵂᵉⁿᵗʷᵒʳᵗʰ ⁸⁷⁷ ᶜᵃˢʰ ⁿᵒʷ

It’s nice here!

HI FRIEND!!!!

Moon dressed up as YOUR anus.

This time around, the Kennedys are assassinating us.

Left wing Gen-Xers are perfectly comfortable right now, because everything has failed us our entire entire lives. We're used to it.

Would love to know what Joel Greenberg thinks about his old pal’s ascension.

Oh, we repost our old shit all the time here. It’s not cringe and even if it were, we embrace cringe here.

I went from my tv being on msnbc for 12 hours a day (background noise while I’m doing other things) to now the ID network is my background noise. I’d rather watch murder shows and disassociate than hear about the Fourth Reich. I’m in the fight, I just need a break.

“if Democrats cannot connect with such upcoming and vital voices like @SiegHeil1488BasementIncel, they don’t stand a chance of leading America ever again”

Signpost in hospital grounds that indicates directions to: Early in Life Mental Health Service Mortuary

Healthcare for the Three Ages of Man

The Dark Tower is my favorite as well. I’m really excited for the series Mike Flanagan is working on. Also, King tweeted “I’m back in Mid-World….and the Territories. Don’t know if it will develop into anything-I never know-but it’s good to be back.” ‼️👀

America may be the only country in the world where you’re labeled a “communist” if you actually care about other people in addition to yourself.

Somehow I always thought that being on the right side of history would probably feel better than this.

THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS LAVA!

I have a strong suspicion that everybody with a dog sings songs to their dog about their dog. Or is that just me?