Prune Tracy

Man being thoughtful sucks

Y’all ever use a ratatouille rat to control your arm so it feels like someone else is jerking you off?

Am I the only one who assumed the crazy looking blonde lady was the trump DOD official

I tried to simply erase the random kid in the periphery of this photo and Adobe was like “stand back and let us show you the mighty power of the AI”. Great product you clowns I hope my $70 a month gets spent on some kind of paint for your offices that turns out to give you cancer

Fun fact Monopoly was originally called “The Landlord’s Game” although the rules were slightly different it was a race to see who could get the most layers of old paint on an electrical outlet

“That’s it, I’m gonna do World War I!”
- Kaiser Wilhelm II

Gambling websites should let me bet against myself

Even if I wasn’t already aware of the Murder Bryan Lore this would still be a bangin’ post

Happy Mother’s Day to my mother-in-law who showed me a picture of her next to the Hamburglar and I said “oh you’re associating with a known criminal” and she got so confused… turns out she didn’t know who he was or what he was known for, just kept calling him “The Hamblerger”.

yessir there is nothing quite like brushing your teeth before bed and noticing the shirt you’ve been wearing all day at work and to the store has a huge hole in the armpit

I’d go to a restaurant that’s like Korean barbecue but just American grilling, just Dad flipping burgers at the table and taking orders

James Earl Jones’s voice is deep but it’s not gravely, you know? He’s booming but he’s got a mellow tone like Big Kermit

I am by no means advocating for child soldiers but I do think it would be fun to haul their little asses around in an armored Toyota Sienna

Trying to conceal a mouthful of milk during sex to try and blow it into a lady’s boobs to inflate them

Backyard furnaces but it’s every American gets a weber grill to start producing their own burger

What do you think this funny little fella was doing running around in some kinda seal team six getup this morning?

All these people becoming religious as adults just looking for a bigger manager to complain to

Surfing goose

Were you there when they gooseified my board

Took a bunch of portraits for a corporate website and one dude turned his shoulders the wrong way and I didn’t catch it so now I’m attempting to secretly fix it by uploading his goofy ass to the TikTok microwave filter

No it’s not

“America has truly lost its way”
- me, reflecting on the fact that the lazy little loser guy in Anora wasn’t supplementing his constant video game playing with watching old Will Ferrel movies

The peak of Everest is covered in garbage but I’m standing here alone on top of Mount Finished-a-whole-chapstick

The funniest aspect of this is that it will probably end up being woke and fascist

Got to grab a few things from Kroger today but because of the boycott I have to drive to Cincinnati so it’ll technically be a local business

Rockin Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Blues are two wildly different diagnoses. You rocked so hard your primary care physician had to refer you to a boogie woogie specialist.

Eagles Greatest Hits (Taylor’s Version)