Failgoat

look at my country man, we’re getting out-No Kings’d by the fuckin’ british

Yoon and Prince Andrew wishing they had a friend like John Roberts.

Getting shown up in the arena of elite impunity by *the British monarchy* is an incredible “America at 250!” achievement

Was trying to remember a Will Forte quote from Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie and accidentally figured out how to make Google’s AI tool shut up

Heat (with Muppets)

that guy looks like a yassified Dewey Crowe

this is very funny, but in context it’s even better. as a lifelong Jets fan, this is maybe the most succinct description of this cesspool of a team I’ve ever read

lmao

the logo is w/e, all that matters is the color scheme, which suggests they’re moving to some version of the Oilers’ uniforms, which: fuck yes

I had a fairly serious argument with my mom because she insisted on buying us a wipe warmer, while I insisted that that was a stupid product that I would never use (I won)

seconding the zip-up sleep sacks—they are life savers. also, it’s so obvious it’s easy to miss, but take a lot of care in choosing a diaper bag, because you will be bringing it literally everywhere for the next few years

this does not at all answer the prompt, but it reminder me that my parents’ dog’s vet is named Dr. Barker and I lol every time I hear it

once again pointing out that Trump vs. US is a treasonous decision--the Supreme Court equivalent of January 6--and the justices who voted for it have forfeited any claim to legitimacy (or indeed due process) whatsoever

I was told by more than one voter that they didn't want to vote for Kamala Harris because she seemed kinda stupid, & this sort of deliberate coverage is exactly how people got that impression.

Have you ever once seen the New York Times quote Trump like this?

it’s obviously the Jets, because in addition to all the usual hurdles (awful owner, predacious media, big market, history of futility), there’s the fact that if you are willing to take the Jets job, you are by definition either stupid or insane, so you have to overcome that too

Ben Schwartz is the perfect choice for Sonic and Jim Carrey is having the time of his life, but what really carries it is that James Marsden and Tika Sumpter are so effortlessly charming

hello and welcome to the political genius exam. here is question one. which is a more compelling message:

- the president is sending armies to occupy cities and kidnap and kill people and your town could be next
- a meal at the cheesecake factory that previously cost $100 now costs $104.9

Your occasional reminder that we are still less than a year out from Mr. Popularism himself Matthew Yglesias insisting it was of the utmost political expedience for Democrats to simply allow Kilmar Abrego Garcia to be disappeared to a foreign country and tortured to death

no-brainer

Me and my debate team husband are the acceptable face of socialism 🎭 (offputting march for life perverts)

In 1854, after watching the federal government deploy 2000 federal troops and spend $40,000 sending Anthony Burns back into slavery, Boston's Amos Adams Lawrence said “we went to bed one night old-fashioned, conservative, Compromise Union Whigs and waked up stark mad Abolitionists.”

screenshot of a tweet by @emmaroller from 6/27/2020: it’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right / I hope you have some cheese for my wife

bonus: this gave rise to an all-time top-5 tweet

Our legacy media endlessly perpetuates the assumption, for which there is no evidence, that Elon Musk is a comic book super genius inventor. So they never shift to the assumption, for which evidence abounds, that he's just a cheap charlatan sabotaging human progress for his own benefit.

BABY BABY

how your email finds me