John Lewis ad execs. “We’re not selling enough to Gen X.”

“Private income”. Which is derived from assets owned by the monarch, which can only be gained from becoming the monarch. Hardly Charles working his way up from barrow boy. The whole thing stinks to high heaven.

TL:DR. He’s not a real admiral. A prince is something they have in fairy tales, and a Dukedom isn’t a real thing.

King wants Andrew to lose last military title, minister says Defence Secretary John Healy says King Charles has "indicated that's what he wishes".

I get it because optics, but in my opinion removing titles and honours legitimises what are toy titles and made up honours. What would be better is “we’re interviewing him under caution because he is alleged to have raped a trafficked woman.”

www.bbc.com/news/article...

Is this like Simon Says? If he doesn’t say THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER does it mean it’s not happening?

They are very gentle. We were a very gentle family!

For some reason when I was about 8 I once said “one has to have one’s pleasures in life”. If I help myself to a biscuit or a single celebration etc someone will chime in with “enjoy that, one has to have one’s pleasures in life.”

🤣

I love this.

I love a bit of family lore. Having to sit there smiling as you get completely rinsed but knowing that your time will come to get revenge.

Last one. My older sister went vegan for a while. Made a cake “with just one egg, but that’s ok because it’s spread out”. Now anything vegan has “just one egg” in it. Would love to hear any other daft things which have become family lore…

Similarly my younger sister, around Christmas 1998, made a chocolate Yule log and placed it on an attractive wooden board which my mother had not long used to chop garlic. 27 years later if my sister makes **any** dish we peer intently at it, take one bite and say “can you taste garlic?”

Reflecting on families. My sisters take the piss out of me relentlessly because after reading an Enid Blyton book I said, just once, “look, there’s a parachutist landing in yonder field.” I’ve worked out this was 34 years ago and they will not let me forget it.

Yes the decor is awful, but the biggest crime is making someone do a shit right next to an un-frosted window.

Change is glacial isn’t it? Most MPs form part of the socio-economic groups that profit from the status quo, and the rest are seduced by the potential of joining said groups.

Andrew is a good start. Now bring the rest of them down.

a man wearing a nasa shirt is spinning a yo-yo in front of a tapestry that says awesome ALT: a man wearing a nasa shirt is spinning a yo-yo in front of a tapestry that says awesome

Someone bought Wilf a yo-yo. The purchase confirms that I’ve still got it.

a cartoon character wearing a top hat and bow tie is sitting in a crowd . ALT: a cartoon character wearing a top hat and bow tie is sitting in a crowd .

Spent the afternoon setting up stocks ISAs for the kids.

What region are you?

Donald Trump doesn’t do semi-detached houses in Leigh, but if he did, they’d probably be the greatest semi-detached houses in the world.

Regular reminder that AI itself is not the problem; it’s not churning out screenplays on its own initiative. It’s the people using AI for purposes you don’t like that you have an issue with. Stop anthropomorphising what is essentially a programme that googles for you.

But you’ll still think in that way forever. Plus think/say “oh, in the year below me” whenever you meet someone slightly younger than you. Forever.

Can you land a poorly pixelated helicopter on a simulated oil rig? Can you build a 3D shape from oversized blocks of coloured foam? Can you zip line into a muddy puddle? If yes, you can be our new operations manager.

3rd job interview in as many months. Confident I won’t be offered this one. Why does every interview need to be an interrogation in which you have to deliver anecdotes about days at work you experienced long ago? I’d much prefer a Krypton Factor-esque test of mental agility and physical stamina.

a cartoon of homer simpson standing next to his family ALT: a cartoon of homer simpson standing next to his family

Hen trying to get me to appreciate Lily Allen’s new album. All the subtlety of a house brick and a sound that’s stuck in 2006.

Achieved the top row walking through the car park.

Going to see some old 70s band with my Dad tonight. I’ve made a bingo card for my own amusement.

“We have detected unusual activity and logged you out.”

You haven’t.

“You used your browser’s back button so we have logged you out.”

No I didn’t.

“Your NS&I number is incorrect.”

Reenters exact same number…

“Logging in…”

NS&I’s response every time I try to log in and do some minor admin on my premium bonds.

Have you read the book it’s based on? Nuclear War: A Scenario. It’s relentlessly terrifying.