puck

his whole thing is that hes renounced god so it's extra cringe

and just the draculas

bold of you to assume i didnt have one for vampires in general already

REAL AND TRUE

i may be biased on account of being a hater of coppola's dracula but oldman dracula is nothing to me. lost any allure when he was like nooooo mina i can't do it i can't turn you into a vampire and condemn your soul :((( COWARD

is this a safe space. ranking gary oldman high on a list of sexy draculas: WRONG. christopher lee 👍

I hate these fascist motherfuckers with every cell in my body and with nearly equal timbre I hate the cowardice of the only people in a position to oppose them who treat it like they were playing crazy 8s over cocktails and watercress sandwiches

set my work laptop on the corner of my dresser and then tried to bend over to pick something up off the ground but only succeeded in whacking my temple on the corner of the laptop. proprioceptors 0 my immediate surroundings 10000

I'd like to announce that I'm pivoting to media criticism. Here is my critique of the media. It sucks ass. Having registered this critique I'm now pivoting back to songs about the true nature of prophecy & books where there was maybe a ghost but you're not entirely sure

Are they like memorializing the Bond franchise because Amazon bought it and it's gonna suck shit from now on

i cant stop thinking abt isabella rossellini wearing blue velvet to the oscars. im going insane im so sad

on one side: piña coladas, health food, yoga, champagne. all controllable variables. on the other, "getting caught in the rain," which you can't fairly do on purpose. by definition an inconvenience. this is the only one on the narrator's list I buy; as a kink it rings true. the rest is obfuscation

yeah sure

about to enter a permanent stage of crashing out. you guys wish you had my level of crashing out expertise. they call me the crash out king

love when i look at reviews for a fragrance and everyone's like "this is NOT for everyday wear!!" brother im wearing that shit to wegmans

tim robinson, my hero

Google remakes Super Bowl ad after AI cheese gaffe Its Gemini tool wildly overestimated global gouda consumption in ad that was meant to show off its capabilities.

"The commercial - which was supposed to showcase Gemini's abilities - was created to be broadcast during the Super Bowl.

It showed the tool helping a cheesemonger in Wisconsin write a product description by informing him Gouda accounts for '50 to 60 percent of global cheese consumption'."

I’m a part time librarian and I just want to echo what I’ve seen other librarians say recently: there is a HUGE uptick in requests for social justice, climate justice, abolition, history, etc books and I just want to say nobody is giving up the fight. If anything people are fighting harder #library

I’m packing herb-bean boxes and have you ever thought about the spelling:

alfalfa

Just look at it, that’s a woody word , so balanced, a round öot slant rhyme pseudo-palindrome of a word

Edited Ben Franklin quote that reads: "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little egg deserve neither liberty nor egg” -Benjamin Franklin

feeling deeply vindicated by this as a rosehead. woody or spicy or powdery or jammy hand them over!!! if you think it's only for your grandma you're a COWARD

FACT SHEET: Climate and Energy Implications of Crypto-Assets in the United States | OSTP | The White House Climate change is one of the most pressing problems confronting our nation and our world, and President Biden has taken bold steps to address it with legislation and policy. Among the President’s comm...

Heads up, the Biden-Harris White House websites are now archived! If you have an old link that gives an error, you can delete the www . whitehouse in the link (be sure to remove the www) and replace with bidenwhitehouse.archives.gov/ [rest of your link]
bidenwhitehouse.archives.gov/ostp/news-up...

truly the only option in the wake of lynch's death is to get weirder. i'm still working out how but i'm determined to do it

molly finally showed me saw the other night and now my brain keeps generating silly things john kramer would put me in a saw trap over. this morning's entry is "listening to the smiths"

why do straight men get so mad about female playable characters in video games? i thought they loved manipulating women.

me: [carefully placing a baby on my boss’s desk]
my boss: and the other one
me: [pauses, then unstraps an ankle holster that cradles a smaller, but just as deadly baby]

but we AREN'T we're TALKING THROUGH IT

now WHY did we decide to watch phantom menace for the second half of movie night (the answer is we aren't well)