Kevin The Dad

I tried offering my 3yo some carrot slices. I even called them carrot chips to make them sound more enticing. She was not fooled by my shenanigans and will not be eating any carrots.

We went to a theme park today and walked past one of the games. My kid said “Oh, I know that game! It’s a scam!” I don’t know how he knew that, but I’m sure he was right.

Close enough!

That may well be the case 😂

I’ve reached the stage of parenting where I keep mixing up my kids’ names

They are delicious!

They’re both doing a berry good job

If my 3yo were to stop eating blueberries, I’m not sure the blueberry industry would recover. She eats so many of them that she’s gotta be responsible for 90% of their profits.

That says it all!

There’s no such thing as a quick trip to the playground for a preschooler. It’s their favourite place in the world, so you’re in for the long haul.

I kind of hate playing pretend with my kids but listening to my kids play pretend without me, I could listen to them all day.

My 2yo didn’t want to get out of bed this morning so she pretended her legs wouldn’t work, and I’ve never related to anything more.

Mommy is the boss. That’s the rules.

My toddler told me that I’m the boss and then we all had a good laugh because that’s so far from the truth

shoutout to the dad I passed this morning accompanying his daughter on the walk to school, carrying her hello kitty backpack and singing every word to “golden” from K-pop demon hunters

Rude

I’ve been home for 5 minutes and my 3yo is already calling me “the worst silly moose” but I promise I’m not

Kid 1 is playing pretend with a toy campfire set; he cut up a log and placed four pieces in a frame and placed the flames in the center. Kid 2 went to scout camp this summer, so I asked, “Kid 2, any tips for Kid 1 as he builds the fire?”

“Yeah,” says Kid 2, “Don’t put your hands in the fire”

You’re on notice Lucy 😂

I need more of this!

My 3yo keeps asking me to take photos of her at the playground. Then she asks to see it and when I show her, she says “oOoOoOh good one daddy!”

I asked my kid what he’d like to wear for the first day of school.

“Um, I think…the picnic table shirt.”

Gingham, he chose a gingham patterned button down

My kid loves to say "hey look at this" but whatever he's trying to show me is always obscured from my view and only he can see it

I need that when I get told how much I have to pay for my groceries

My kids no longer fit in carts yet I still find myself lightly rocking mine every time I idle in the grocery store to make sure no one cries

I wonder what it could be...

Me: A nurse at this surgery center let me sleep for a couple extra hours after my procedure because she knew I had little kids

Receptionist: …

Me: I still have little kids

Receptionist: Wanting a nap is not a valid reason to have surgery, ma’am

Zero dollarbucks! Bargain!

Nope. Just PlayDoh everywhere. Closer to a nightmare really!

So tasty