@haliphacks.bsky.social
Keeping it funny on Bluesky since its early days as a radio show. My posts ➜ https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kla5p6qnfqixl6bgwbttabhh/feed/aaadag4p2jrvk
My weekends last six minutes but holding a 60 second plank lasts three to five business days.
09.02.2026 03:13 — 👍 168 🔁 33 💬 2 📌 0i think the drones following the skiers should fly closer to encourage them to ski faster
09.02.2026 02:42 — 👍 8 🔁 4 💬 1 📌 0Waiting for the "man I'm glad THAT'S over with" days.
09.02.2026 12:17 — 👍 70 🔁 21 💬 3 📌 0a super bowl commercial crossover between nintendos tecmo bowl and the sunglass hut hut hut
08.02.2026 05:33 — 👍 14 🔁 5 💬 2 📌 0It must be so exhausting to hate things just because a lot of other people enjoy them.
08.02.2026 18:55 — 👍 31 🔁 9 💬 1 📌 0February is the "overslept on a Monday morning" of months.
01.02.2025 16:46 — 👍 95 🔁 40 💬 2 📌 1
07.02.2026 16:57 — 👍 13 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
The number one rule of 1990s Hip Hop is when you use the word "Stylin" you must rhyme it with "Profilin."
07.02.2026 13:30 — 👍 41 🔁 8 💬 4 📌 0starting a TikTok trend where people delete TikTok
03.02.2026 23:00 — 👍 315 🔁 69 💬 5 📌 2I wish I was the person I was when I packed my lunch this morning.
07.02.2026 06:53 — 👍 40 🔁 11 💬 0 📌 0It's unfortunately ironic that honey doesn't give you a buzz.
07.02.2026 08:14 — 👍 39 🔁 10 💬 3 📌 0Blindfold me with your red flag.
06.02.2026 22:17 — 👍 56 🔁 24 💬 0 📌 0Going through the 7 stages of grief really quick before reading the news.
06.02.2026 12:47 — 👍 37 🔁 5 💬 2 📌 0Them: What has surprised you about adulthood
Me: The fatigue and never once seeing quicksand
it’s ok bellybutton, I outlived my purpose too
30.01.2026 02:17 — 👍 118 🔁 34 💬 5 📌 0Self-care Bear encourages people to Care Bear stare themselves
03.02.2026 23:46 — 👍 67 🔁 19 💬 8 📌 1You’d think I would have found some happiness by now with all the shit I spend my money on
05.02.2026 13:50 — 👍 70 🔁 27 💬 2 📌 0Killing a mocking bird sounds super easy tbh I dont think I need to read an entire book about it
06.02.2026 12:43 — 👍 112 🔁 30 💬 6 📌 0God, grant me the serenity to accept the thighs I cannot change
05.02.2026 17:42 — 👍 85 🔁 15 💬 6 📌 1Y'ALL GOTTA GET THESE KIDS OUT MY DAMN HOUSE
05.02.2026 18:00 — 👍 18 🔁 3 💬 1 📌 0i adoritos
05.02.2026 22:40 — 👍 33 🔁 12 💬 2 📌 0
04.02.2026 12:35 — 👍 30 🔁 10 💬 0 📌 1
Pizzagate deserved to be the name of something way more funny
04.02.2026 13:23 — 👍 264 🔁 34 💬 11 📌 1If I bite a spider it will gain the powers of overreacting but also grow huge jugs
04.02.2026 22:35 — 👍 49 🔁 19 💬 1 📌 0When I was younger I used to be satisfied with a glass of cheap, trashy, unsophisticated wine but now I’m all grown up I need at least 2 full bottles.
04.08.2025 11:43 — 👍 342 🔁 112 💬 5 📌 3Major Tom?
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"Everything's interconnected, man."
-me, high at Legoland
realizing I make better eye contact with the pets around than I do my neighbors
06.02.2026 13:00 — 👍 294 🔁 40 💬 5 📌 4Make little changes to benefit your health. Switch from soda to water. Take the stairs. Eat apples instead of bread with your nightly cheese snack. Take longer baths. Longer. Like 4 hours. Instead of water, bathe in the blood of your enemies. Stop consuming and donate.
05.02.2026 01:34 — 👍 41 🔁 11 💬 1 📌 0
