SpacedMom

Kids and cats have a lot in common: they don’t obey commands, their curiosity might kill them, and they love a good cardboard box.

How may degrees of separation between Kevin Bacon and John Hamm?

It’s rude for the weather to be nice when you’re consumed by dread

in the afternoons i think someone should come in and turn off the lights and tell us we have to rest our heads on our desks for a bit

It’s the people on this website with no sense of humour who choose to reply to jokes that I’m most grateful for.

I saw a thing about being an innovator, and I was remembering when I used the knife sharpener stick to knock something up high out of the cabinet.

I told my kid that an interview for a job in the legal profession was called a 'lawdition' and now I have another meeting with his teacher

I’m so Gen-X I still avoid the cracks in the sidewalk to protect my mother.

The smallest type of animal is a minimal

The angriest word in the English language is "representative" spoken to an automated phone menu.

Yogurt is one of my top 10, maybe even top 5 favorite gurts.

cheese fountain > chocolate fountain comments closed

My husband left the kayak strapped to the car from when he had taken it out a couple days ago, and I had to drive to the grocery store feeling like I was impersonating someone who shops at REI.

I don't mind going out in public. I just hate when other people go out in public when I do

Obsessed with the pharma commercial trope of 'taking this medication will guarantee you can happily own a very boutique retail business'.

If you get a punny tattoo, the joke’s on you

I don't want to brag but I'm pretty damn Mid at a whole bunch of stuff

KID: Daddy, do you know what an eclipse is?

ME: No sun

HIM: Ok, I'll ask someone else

Not to get all political on here but the word 'gush' is infinitely worse than 'moist'.

Why did they call them aeronautical engineers and not flyentists?

I'm sorry, I moonwalk when I'm nervous, Your Honor

Fool Michael Jackson once

Shamone you

"This seafood restaurant is now a crime scene. Nobody move a mussel."

My toddler learned about the concept of a grocery list and now says “but it’s on the list” for everything she wants at the store

Impetigo would be a great name for a font.

Enjoy your kids now because before you know it they’ll be grown and you’ll be happy and free

It’s all yours!

So sick of the “happy to jump on a call” bullshit. We all know the reality is “I’ll get on a call if you gotta be a dick about it but I’m praying this email will suffice.”