Alysabeth 🍄

For years
whenever we were overwhelmed
by how much we had to do
my sister and I would joke
that perhaps
society would collapse
before we’d have to do it all,
but today when I said this
instead of laughing
she just said:
I don’t think that’s funny anymore.

"the biological imperative to survive and not hurt ourselves is so strong that if we hate ourselves enough we stab the world instead of ourselves"

- Gregory Maguire

Even more shocking that he knows and can spell "dissociate"

"stop being crazy.

That's OUR thing."

CPTSD recovery levels up when we realize we don't have to prove sh*t to anyone-- especially not those who wouldn't take our experience seriously anyway.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to have supportive friends to share with.
We all need a sounding board, reality check, and validation - especially if we are navigating a complicated relationship.

If you don't have someone you can trust, I highly recommend
www.inner.world

Thanks for reading ❤️ I'm sorry and glad it's helpful at the same time

When you'd prefer I be your therapist, I'm still your daughter.

When you would rather I be your mother - I'm still your daughter.

When you choose others over me, even those who abuse me, I'm still your daughter.

When you make me your children's caretaker, I'm still your daughter.

When you use me as your marriage counselor, I'm still your daughter.

When you apologize with words, but not actions, I'm still your daughter.

When you think I'm talking back, but I am really just expressing a differing opinion, I'm still your daughter.

When you hurt the ones I love most, I'm still your daughter.

When I go through the best times of my life and you won't celebrate with me, but instead bring me down, I'm still your daughter.

When you insult me, curse at me, hit me, I'm still your daughter.

When I'm vulnerable with you, and you use it against me, I'm still your daughter.

"When you don't speak to me, I'm still your daughter.

When you ignore my cries for help, I'm still your daughter.

When I go through the hardest times of my life and can't turn to you for even a compassionate ear, I'm still your daughter.

Anyone that's gone no / low contact with a parent has heard this - "but she's / he's still your mom / dad!"

As if that's not just heaping on extra torment.

I wrote this in response to that post, but kept it to myself.

Posting in case it helps others process the most impossible decision.

A couple years ago when I first went no contact with my parents

(aka: set boundaries and sided with a sibling they were exceptionally abusive to - and they decided it made more sense to never speak to me again),

my mom re-posted a long, passive-aggressive post to FB on: "I'm still your mom"

Waves of grief and distress.

Chronic Illness flaring up in new and creative ways...

It's hard when you can't take a break from it. Can't seem to step away from your own mind.

Under all of this, I'm happy, healthy, whole and safe.

I'll come out of this stronger and more resilient than ever.

Healing is not consistent at all.

I was doing really well, and feeling like it was time to open up about what I'd experienced and what I've learned.

I'm glad I did and I still plan to continue.

But, the last week has been exceptionally hard on my mental health.

Anxiety attacks, panic attacks...

I love this! Art keeps the world worth living in. It inspires hope and change both within and without.

Exactly.

Getting further in touch with myself and my core morality, I was able to deconstruct the patriarchal, narcissistic, abusive religion I was raised in.

I'm now not religious, but spiritual, and I'm constantly learning about the beliefs of our ancestral mothers before this destructive weed took root.

My empathy. Once I had a more complete view of the effects of Christian Republicanism, I saw that they were fighting to hurt people.

I aligned my vote with those that acted (or at least promised) to help people and make space for more freedoms.

Thank you for asking.

I think there were several crowbars involved. The 1st was my ex husband. He is a very intellectual guy and argued great points against creationism. That allowed my logic to break through.

I'm also gay, and being myself required divorcing from their ideology.

3rd,

Growing up in Christian fundamentalism left me mentally and physically ill. It warped my understanding of love, it blocked my brain from logical thinking and it made me hate myself.

There's no hate like Christian love.

I'm fighting my way back to myself but damn it's a lot of work.

Thank you for reposting.

This is so important for people to know.

They have a plan and they are hell bent on bringing it to fruition.

They didn't count on the children they raised being smart enough, empathetic enough, and self aware enough to see through their 🐂💩

The problem is, the people that back him, down to the voting public, will find some way to excuse even this.

So many things should have been a deal breaker and they weren't.

And I'll tell you right now, the Christian fundamentalists that put him in power do not see child r@p3 as a deal breaker.

Christian fundamentalists want the equivalent of Sharia law in the US

The religion is one of abuse, coercive control and domination

They've raised their children in the hopes that we will continue to kiss the ring

So many of us refuse

We are deconstructing

First ourselves, next their power

But that's EXACTLY what they are doing. You of all people can't deny that.

Please clarify or correct this statement. You have a huge following, and this is irresponsible.

The best revenge against a narcissist is to live happily, fully you, without them.

If you're learning to communicate effectively as an adult, like I am -
I'm rooting for you.

Shit's hard.

Learn to catch yourself, apologize, work on a plan to communicate better in the future.

You don't necessarily need to GO to therapy to DO therapy. There are so many free and low cost tools out there. Learn to express yourself in a productive way.

This brings me back to my first statement.

Poor communication skills have a huge impact on relationships.

No one deserves to be a punching bag because you have trauma.

Disagreements should be between you and that person, not you and your past.