Dreykovsky

Lil frustrating that this started, in part, because Americans couldn't handle the responsibility of reinventing AM radio.

I'm so tired of the misreporting of Charlie Kirk. Primarily that they keep referring to him by name and not "Dorkus Malorkus with a Rare Case of Lil Bitch Disease," which is AP style.

Real talk: Irvine's dead stare barely visible from inside the HVAC while watching the president squeege would solve at least 4 current crises

It's called Pervin' Irvine

Idea for a spy movie about a guy who could break into the White House and Pentagon but only to watch people change and go to the bathroom

Watching a twitch stream from 7 years ago. The two craziest things I heard was a comment praising Dr. Disrespect and the phrase "I like JK Rowling, she's fun on Twitter."

Just found out that George Santos is my age (literally 3 weeks difference) and I am having a hard time accepting this

Your activation phrase is "I am Malenia."

This sleeper cell will not activate until the phrase is repeated 300 times.

#eldenring

I wish I could express how good this joke is but literally no one that I know would understand what the fuck I was talking about

i find it comforting on a deep emotional level that Bruce Campbell sized up our present political moment and decided to become an anti-AI activist

A friend in reeds is better...

"Good heavens, sir!"

I usually give it the horns and if it doesn't open at the gentlest touch, I breach myself into the world via bus door birth like ace Ventura through a rhino buttthole

Just in case you were feeling self-conscious, I've noticed every time you struggled opening the back bus door. It's devastating and it's all I ever talk about at lunch with my hot friends

Can't imagine a decision with smaller dick energy than becoming an ICE agent

Is it just me, or is Terrifier 3 kinda meh? The kills were neat, often hilarious, but literally everything else was just sooo boring

Playing Death's Door. It is charming as hell and I appreciate the difficulty curve and the expressive boss battles. #videogames

And I further suspect we won't see that because:

1. They'll claim that they didn't fuck up
2. This is the result they wanted

One thing I would like from the Dems is to admit they fucked up. And then I would like them to move forward with significant action.

I suspect we'll see neither with the current leadership.

My DMs are for porn bots and guys from Ghana who write “hello lovely” thirty times in a row. Everyone else GTFO.

Imagine burning down an entire continent's economy because your grandkids told you "take my wife, please" jokes weren't funny any more.

Poulet Salmon and Garf-uncured-el

(quietly coming from somewhere)

"TEST. YOUR MIGHT. TEST. YOUR..."

I don't really manspread on the bus but I do listen to my headphones really loud, so I guess you could say manspread my award winning taste in music you ungrateful tit

*Talons are as long as

*Hideo Kojima game set during the Somme*

Colonel: Tommy. This is Trench Footman. He'll be your guide when you need to patch yourself up.

TF: You're holding the Synergised Hypodermic Epinephrine Limbic Loadout, or SHELL. Press R1 to use SHELL to cure SHOCK.

Tommy: SHOCK?

Haha, whew, that was a close one

*remembers seeing a body in the street a week before Thanksgiving*

We're just gonna shuffle that one into the "Think about it during idle moments but still forget to mention it on therapy" folder

Haha, whew, that was a close one

I mumble in my handwriting too