Brett Weed

today at the park we saw wild turkeys and some dude behind us was like “bro look at those owls” so what I’m saying is don’t ever let anyone make you feel stupid. you can visually identify a turkey

Gunman in Deadly C.D.C. Shooting Fixated on Covid Vaccine, Officials Say

I spent this morning talking to the CDC shooting suspect's neighbors. They said he was polite, helpful and OBSESSED with vaccine conspiracy theories.
www.nytimes.com/2025/08/09/u...

Vinay Prasad returns to the FDA, weeks after his ouster HFO HFO Vinay Prasad returns to a top FDA role just weeks after his abrupt dismissal.

#Breaking: Vinay Prasad is returning to the Food and Drug Administration to resume his role overseeing vaccine, gene therapy, and blood product regulation. www.statnews.com/2025/08/09/v...

A Google alert announces Chappell Roan concert tickets, but the image is of Weird Al

You sure about this, Google?

My kids call him ‘Swampy’ (affectionate)

Some of my friends have bullet fragments on the carpet outside their offices. I’m sick to my stomach.

Man that shits gonna kill everyone isn’t it

I heard there was a secret 'b'
Hidden inside a 'blueberry'
But you don't really care for GPT do ya
It goes like this: a 'b' at first, and fourth and sixth,
Whoops, minor error; purported fix,
My AI reinventing "blubeberry"
Blubeberry 🎶
blubellberry
Blurblery

ChatGPT saying “Brett Weed” probably refers to “Brett Feldman”

Fam, it seems I don’t exist anymore

The laws of the United States affirm point one.

Hotdogs with mustard, ketchup, remoulade, onions (roasted + raw), pickled cucumber (not pickles) have been circulating for decades in the civilized world.

What you have observed elsewhere is known as "loss of function", not "gain of function".

It's not the same.

PR Nightmare: The Phillie Phanatic Just Carried A Severed Head In His Mouth To Bryce Harper And Proudly Dropped It At His Feet

I’m cracking up

(record scratch) you’re probably wondering how I got here…

A husky sleeping between a chair and ottoman with one leg on the floor in what might be the most uncomfortable sleeping position ever devised

The dog sleeping position laboratory continues to innovate in ways we could never imagine.

This and NyQuil chicken ensures I will never lack for work

So tomorrow a 3-1 loss?

I, too, am afraid of comically large hats

Once saw a guy on Peachtree in Midtown trip over a fallen scooter and just go into an incandescent rage, chucking all the scooters into traffic. Scooters fared poorly (but so did the passing cars’ tires)

We collectively ate our weight in diner blueberry pancakes in Maine last month. Almost spurred a revised life plan…

Alan Dershowitz’s Grammarian Responds to Pierogi Incident When the police arrived, they also advised Dershowitz to use non-gendered pronouns. Dershowitz was hesitant. “I’ll use whatever language I choose t...

"First of all: 'Not anything the police should have anything to say over'? Alan, Alan, Alan. Perhaps you needed me more than I knew. "

1980s Casio mini keyboard

Which one is @darthbluesky.bsky.social

It has been the honor of my life to serve as Commissioner of BLS alongside the many dedicated civil servants tasked with measuring a vast and dynamic economy. It is vital and important work and I thank them for their service to this nation.

Is this because you only have position players pitching after the trade deadline?

PHILLIES ACQUIRE A LEFT FIELDER. That is all.

My wife had me drive her to work that day so she didn’t have the ability to leave and go to the school

@artdecider.bsky.social needed here

Amazon review of Pride and Prejudice, left by carlton p morgan on 30 July 2010: "Just a bunch of people going to each other's houses"

Happy 15th anniversary of the peak achievement of literary criticism, to all who celebrate

Still inefficient. We need a single, unitary case cite that includes every possible point we’d ever wish to make.