Morsalbus

the smartest thing you can do is be a genius

I WORK HARD (try to exercise regularly), I PLAY HARD (eat Hi-Chews until my burps smell wrong)

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i like learning abt the ocean and deep sea creatures . i dislike being betrayed or slighted

atlantic article screenshot headline: no one knows how big pumpkins can get sub head: a decade ago, the worlds heaviest pumpkin weighed 2,000 pounds. now the 3,000 pound mark is within sight by yasmin tayag

this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread

Amazed to hear about this promising new progressive Democratic candidate with a history of bigoted comments online, multiple Nazi tattoos, and multiple trips to the Middle East to help kill poor brown people.

Morons are asking if this could finally be the leader we need in order to defeat Fascism

Guy known only as "Kookaburra" because of how gay his life must be

Happy birthday to maybe the greatest game ever made

Responding to knock knock jokes by standing very still and pretending I'm not home until they leave

I respect my dog. But I don't respect her beliefs.

Very true! The claim that the victims were smuggling drugs is, as far as I can tell, unevidenced as well as legally and morally irrelevant.

Seeing some braindead people responding to the US illegally murdering foreign civilians in intl waters like "Obviously they weren't just fishermen; what incentive does the Trump administration have to just kill innocent people?"

To start a war! To score racism points! To bully+provoke any response!

Bluesky's CEO going out of her way to downplay, dismiss, and ridicule users with concerns about moderation bias here is fascinating.

Her entire userbase is people who already abandoned Twitter for similar reasons, and she is literally telling people to leave. Does she assume not many people would?

Reddit asks
"People who were told by their partner 'don't worry about him/her'—were they actually someone to worry about?"

The sampling bias is clearly gonna go wild there! Who is gonna post or upvote a reply that says "Nah, my gut feeling was wrong and everything was fine"? Boring! 😴

"Sure they'll be paying me, but I'll be speaking truth to power!"
"Well even if I don't take the money, someone else will! Better me than somebody worse!"

Type shit

Wait, when is it too late? I was kinda hoping to give it a shot eventually, but I am not getting any younger 🧓

Saw a guy with a hat saying something like "growing old is inevitable, growing weak is optional." I appreciate the message, but I'm not sure there's a normal framework to view both statements as true

chiblee, I'm gonna kill myself chiblee

If we suppose that Matthew 24:36 means that no person will predict the day or hour of the return of Christ, then His return can be postponed reliably and indefinitely so long as people continue to predict. It's like the Unexpected Hanging Paradox of Christendom.

Me: I need more power

Gf being cute: I’m stronger than 10,000 samurai😊

Me: haha..no you’re not. The strength of ten thousand samurai is immeasurable.

[2 hrs later] Ten thousand. Wtf

In tears as I bend the knee in servitude: Daimyo..

Her thinking Im proposing: ohmygodohmygod

Screenshot from Pokemon Scarlet showing the player character crouching behind a napping shiny Chi-Yu with a row of houses behind them

We did it!

taking 30mgs of percocet and walking around the open house with my hands behind my back like i'm an old man at an art museum

one of the clearest signs you're dealing with a strong and principled political movement is when they want to make it illegal to make fun of them

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time was 19 years ago. The twenty-first best time is now.

Capitalism requires a significant level of unemployment to function, a Reserve Army of Labor. But individual Capitalists don't always understand that. What homeless people did to "deserve" death is be inconvenient, be an eyesore.

He can just say that? On national television? I mean I knew these people had intentions like this, but Jesus.

like this is the most irresponsible level of hysteria i’ve ever seen. most of these people are either paid by the republican party, or are high level advisors and allies. this is insane

media: i'd like to see the left wriggle out of this one!
[the shooter is revealed to be a psycho right winger like nearly all shooters]
media: ah, well, nevertheless

Struggling more and more not to call any groups of guys "the blowjob brothers" in public