Jae

I love this movie because it’s the one that made me realize, oh no, Jason Sudekis is an *actor*.

The printing on the button of my coffee maker looks like hell, doesn’t it?

I use said coffee maker at least once a day, generally about five times a week.

….this coffee maker is less than three months old. How is the printing coming off already?

Why is everything made of balsa wood and wishes?!

Asher looks like he’s about to warn you of a spirit that frequents the moors anight. Be wary, should you go wanderin’ during the witching hour, my lad, lest you be gobbled up by a grim, foul specter!

(Also he has made it so I have to stop wearing so much black. Everyone knows I have a dog now…)

…..I’m listening, tell me more…

Being a horror movie fan means there comes a point in your studies where you can tell a movie will be shit based solely on the font choice for the opening credits.

I’ve never once been wrong.

It’s funny…people find out I’m from New York and they immediately get wary, as though every other word out of my mouth is going to be “fuck you and your mother”, and yet…

…the rudest people I’ve encountered in my life ALL sound like Colonel Sanders when they speak.

“Southern hospitality” my ass.

Which…pretty gay (how did my parents not know) when you think about it; in the show where two men in tight clothing live together and physical with other men, I’m most excited when the diva in sparkly purple shows up.

My love of drag was showing early.

…Batgirl is high drag…

I woke up singing the 60’s Batman theme today.

I used to love watching reruns of 60’s Batman as a kid, but the episodes that excited me most were the ones where the opening credits would have Batgirl ride by on her motorcycle, after they added her in the later seasons.

Batgirl was my favorite.

Sounds like something someone who hates me would say.

My (now former) coworkers are really tugging on the strings of the cold black stone that’s located where my heart should be.

Genuinely didn’t think I was this well liked. 🥹

(On the flip side, pretty much all of management *assumed* I was here for another week. Which is honestly typical. 🙄)

Got an offer for a better job before I’m even officially done with *this* one.

Holy shit, is my karma actually paying dividends, at long last?!

Hear me out; befriend him. Now you’ve got a falcon. Get a big leather glove. Now you’re a falconer.

Sic him on your enemies. Now you’re a falconer with no enemies.

I miss Rik sometimes. God, that man was fucking funny. 🥹

Being half an hour late to work when your last day is two days from now (and you’re off tomorrow anyway) is an interesting moral quandary to be in…

In today’s entry of “Yes, My Brain IS Like This All The Time” I opened my eyes this morning and the FIRST thing I did…?

…was to IMMEDIATELY begin singing a Megan Mullally M&Ms commercial jingle from like…2003?

THIS is why I’m “like this” people. This is what it’s LIKE up here! 🧠

Okay, I’ll go ahead and say it; Chappelle Roan fucking sucks. Her music sucks, her attitude sucks, her “fashion sense” sucks.

She all around just fucking sucks. I have yet to see or hear her and think “I want to know more”.

She fully just fucking sucks.

Let’s all move on from her now, ‘kay?

Well sure, and I agree with you, yet…remember where I live.

A lot of people are raised like that here, so…the 70’s are on to *some*thing…

ME: whenever i make fried eggs the yolks break but when i make scrambled eggs they don’t

ALANIS MORISSETTE: i’m sorry but the lyrics are already done

I’m not gonna lie…I know a few people who were raised like this and they are, in fact, kind of terrible people…

They wrote a book about my dating life…? 🤨

The world just got a WHOLE lot less funny. 😔