Jim Mortleman

French pylons be like...

Remembering the good old days when you could deface a paper fiver with a pencil and a judicious crease to make the Queen look like Kevin Godley...

Gecko. Only about 2cm long.

Street art, Grasse.
#twinpeaks

Nice mural, Cannes. Only the guy in the bottom right of the frame is real.

Cartoon depicting a khaki tank with a phallic gun at the front approaching a pink tank with an open vagina in place of a gun.

Cartoon from the latest edition of Charlie Hebdo. "Make love not war".

David Lynch's handprint, Cannes.

Map of the London Underground system, with text below: Excited visitors journey on a big-river maze of antiquated Tube lines. So, how will you fare? (groan) Keep calm and mind the gap! Scrabblegram (100 tiles) Blanks: M, N

Inspired by my trip to London earlier this month, my July #Scrabblegram pays tribute to the incredible Tube system 🚇🏙️🛤️

(I passed through about 75 stations that week, including to/from Heathrow and all the way out to Chesham in Zone 9)

#Scrabble #London #LondonUnderground #TheTube

Was driving up the A1 the other day and amused myself composing this rude limerick based on the names on the signposts:

A Ranby young lad from Long Bennington,
Met a Sawtry but shy lass from Stibbingon;
His Hardwick (full hoist)
Could not get her moist,
So she went back home with a Dry Doddington.

Left: clip of a recent Guardian article describing the Swedish 'princess cake' as "a breast-shaped cake topped with a rosy marzipan nipple. Its green coating might conjure up a buxom extraterrestrial..." Right: Star Trek's Captain Kirk in a clinch with a buxom green extraterrestrial. (Her princess cakes aren't visible in the shot.)

Saw Frankie Boyle in Cambridge this afternoon. Ticket price: £27.50. Just got back to car park. Ticket price: £30.90. Lesson: comedians should give up comedy and go into car park retail.

"Hear the...

#warmleatherette

Car with number plate 55 OPS.

Nazis?

Tim Minchin at Sheffield City Hall last night.

Almost didn't get to Sheffield in time for this after having to go to hospital yesterday (AOK), but luckily just made it. Fantastic retrospective of Minchin's 20-year career. Made us laugh and cry. (Tickets were a surprise anniversary present from my lovely missus last month.)

A red sky, this morning.

Shepherd's warning...

All this talk of the late David Amess on the news is making me crave a slice of bisturbile cranabolic amphetamoid.

Wasps are right fucking pissheads, aren't they?

Look at this cunt. He'll do it again. Throw away the key.

In The Field - Ep. 55 Off-Grid, In The Field is a new series of mini OGP episodes with just one host and The General. We're getting lashed by the captain

A second #offgridpod in-the-field episode up today ... offgrid.tlmb.net/2025/07/13/i...

Photo of comedian and quizzer Paul Sinha

Many congratulations to Sinha on his Wimbledon singles victory yesterday.

Is it just me? #Rublev #Beavis #Wimbledon

Massive dragonfly flying around the garden (phone snap). He looks almost as big as a sparrow!

This, from Private Eye, comparing what Brexit cheerleader Daniel Hannan wrote about "Britain in 2025" back in 2016, and, er, last week, really needs no comment. However, one starting with C and ending with T certainly comes to mind.

Probably going to annoy Cure purists (Curists?) now, but I'm enjoying "Mixes of a Lost World" much more than the original "Songs of a Lost World". Four Tet, Meera, Daybreakers, Orbital et al have transformed what was essentially a platter of dirges into something quite (dare I say it) danceable! 🙂

Douglas McCarthy RIP | The Quietus Douglas McCarthy, vocalist for electronic body music pioneers Nitzer Ebb, has died. The band’s Instagram account issued a short statement saying “It is with a heavy heart that we regret to inform that...

RIP Douglas McCarthy. 🙁
thequietus.com/news/douglas...

Can thoroughly recommend the new Hologram Teen album, "Captain Fluo". Ex-Stereolab keyboardist Morgane Lhote does 80s-inspired electro-disco. Funky-as-fuck summer fun. 🙂

Prime suspect

OMG! Farm earthworks in Arkesden, Essex have uncovered the brutally decapitated head of an American cowgirl. 😢