Gene Bromberg

You start Havertz up top and nail Gyokeres to the bench and pray to all the gods that Kai doesn't pull a hammy or twist a kidney or get hit by a meteor or eaten by dingoes. They need a striker who can do more than...who can do something. Anything.

Blowing the league to Wolves. And completely deserved. An abject performance, arrogant and lazy and totally lacking in spirit. Perhaps the worst performance in the last three years. #Arsenal

Takes some chutzpah for a guy who co-wrote a legendarily bad investing book with a fundamental math error so glaring and obvious that the title became a punchline to call anything "the worst paper I've ever seen." Did he not read the famous book with his name on it?

Wow.

I came away from "The Biggest Loser" documentary thinking that it's remarkable that Jillian Michaels isn't in prison. Bob Harper actually participated in the doc and I think he had NO idea how horribly he came across. The physical/emotional abuse was truly horrific.

It's crazy that "The Simpsons" is one of my favorite shows and I think about it and quote it all the time and yet there are perhaps FIVE HUNDRED EPISODES I've never seen. And that number is so intimidating I've never even tried to make a dent in it.

Remember when George Bush spoke at the D.C. Correspondent's Dinner and did a little skit where he pretended to look around for WMDs and couldn't find anything, and by that point HUNDREDS of American soldiers had been killed in Iraq?? So dignified AND hilarious!!

So relaxed. So smooth in the corners.

This Weeks Onion Magazine: ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics

This Weeks Onion Magazine: ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics

It is an absolute crime this show didn't become a massive hit. The funniest people from SNL! Cate Blanchett! Alexander Skarsgard! Renee Elise Goldsberry! Helen Mirren! RICHARD KIND. And Americans can't get enough of documentaries. It's inexplicable.

Woof, be glad one of you wasn't an AP Style person. Blood might've spilled.

“Three Barbie Dolls and one Ken Doll.” Probably used in a scene cut from “Inland Empire”.

I vividly remember watching Star Wars in the theater and when the Star Destroyer passes overhead I was just lost in the wonder of it all, it was something I'd never seen before.

The opening credits to "Superman" are like that too. I was just like, "Wow, this is incredible." And that's the CREDITS.

AI Chatbot That Only Responds ‘Huh’ Valued At $200 Billion PALO ALTO, CA—Hailing the new product as a “game changer” in the development of large language models, Silicon Valley insiders confirmed Tuesday that an AI chatbot that only responds “huh” had been va...

AI Chatbot That Only Responds ‘Huh’ Valued At $200 Billion

Man just imagine how much Stephen Miller hated that.

Even debauched Senators in a Roman vomitarium would be like, “That’s just tacky.”

For Max better pour out three, at least.

Should be a straight red on Szobozlai and yellow on Haaland. Which would be a red for Haaland.

Commentators with some world-class jinxing in the Liverpool-City game. "Donnarumma saying you can't score from there." "City haven't scored a second-half goal in 2026." "City have only one extra-time goal all season."

"Donnarumma just relaxed three yards off his line...go on, beat me from here." What a wonderful jinx.

Malcolm Tucker and Sam the Eagle. Two chairs facing each other. The other Muppets can take that episode off.

Is it filled with sauerkraut or potato? SAUERKRAUT OR POTATO???

We all know that Muffin is gonna CUT somebody in the Bluey movie.

I applaud young Owen's devotion, but get back to me when he says he's ready to KILL for Bluey.

Ian McKellen performs “The Strangers’ Case” speech from “Sir Thomas More” on Colbert.

(Walks into Olive Garden twirling a raised hand) "DOIN' THE FULL TOUR OF ITALY TONIGHT!"

Highlighting the speaker who stood in front of the Surprise mayor and told him to consider what the Mayor of Ohrdruf must’ve thought before he died by suicide: “He might have thought ‘how is this my fault I had no jurisdiction over this’ maybe he said ‘this site was not subject to local zoning.’”

When "Titanic" came out our office Muzak played "My Heart Will Go On" at least once a day for like a year. A colleague LOVED the movie & song and would laugh at my histrionics when the flutes started up. One day it was 4:57 and I was triumphant. And then the flutes, and Celine. I nearly went mad.

"BLOW THE WHISTLE, BLOW THE EFFING WHISTLE!!!"

(five seconds later)

"NO NO NO, NO "WHISTLE LET THE BOYS PLAY!!!!"

ONE-NIL TO THE #ARSENAL

I worked a 10-minute walk from a wholesale candy store and every payday I'd go there and get like $20 of penny candy and put it on my desk. People would come from all over to get a Tootsie Pop or pack of Bottle Caps. No one else ever copied me, alas.