Jim Clark

A paean to privatised public transport.

Today I had to go from Stockport to Salisbury. So I bought a ticket

Stockport > Bristol > Salisbury

The drive to Stockport should have taken 35 minutes. Satnav said it would take 2 hours, and I'd miss my train.

So I went to Macclesfield, where I found...

Where nobody knows your name... Tracing the anonymous faces at the start of Cheers.

Ever wondered where all the Cheers title photos are from? I did. And I've gathered everything I can find into this post. That was fun.

joelmorris.substack.com/p/where-nobo...

[Scene is ANCIENT GREECE - where SOCRATES and PLATO and others are sitting round, thinking] 1 SOCRATES: Plato.. PLATO: Yes Socrates? 2 SOCRATES: Can you tell me, are you human? PLATO: Why… yes, Socrates 3 SOCRATES: And would you agree, Plato, that a human knows what a chariot is? PLATO: Um, yep 4 SOCRATES: So you can tell me, then 5 [Socrates produces a papyrus, showing a drawing of the corner of a chariot wheel] SOCRATES: *Is that a chariot*? 6 PLATO: Well that’s more just a bit of wheel 7 SOCRATES: So not a *chariot*. PLATO: No. 8 SOCRATES: [Producing another papyrus with the full drawing of the chariot, chopped into boxes] So if a man were challenged to “tap the boxes containing chariots to prove you’re human” when he was just trying to check his ClubCard points... *where could he tap*? 9 PLATO: Well you can’t tap any of them really 10 SOCRATES: So are we not human? PLATO: ‘Spose not. 11 [Bleak pause] 12 PLATO: I’ll get the hemlock SOCRATES: Yeah [ends]

You don’t actually have to both sides this. The Jewish community in the UK is not the Israeli government. You can just condemn the murder of two British Jews killed in their place of worship and you don’t have to say a single other thing.

Maybe you actually bought tickets to a tribute band

Rachel wearing very flimsy looking apron, mask and visor in NHS setting

Here I am in 2020 in the flimsiest, most pitful PPE - like so many other NHS staff, some of whom died from the Covid they caught in their hospitals.

Tory peer Michelle Mone - who today lost her legal case & must repay the govt £122m - dares to claim she’s been ‘scapegoated’.

What, Michelle? 🧵

Popping a stunned Goldcrest into a tree after it flew in to a window. It didn't want to budge. (I did wash my hands afterwards , bird flu n' all that). Saw a Bearded Tit the other day, a good week for bird spotting! #goldcrest #birds #rspb

BBC Two - Secrets of the Brain, Series 1, Episode 1 Jim Al-Khalili reveals how the staggeringly complex human brain evolved.

🧪 I have a new TV offering: a 2-part Horizon special on BBC2 going out on 29th Sep and 6th October. It is called Secrets of the Brain. See
See www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

This woman is everything to me

[Scene is a 19th century drawing room with a sign outside saying TRANSPORT INVENTORS CLUB. Inside, the German Engineer KARL BENZ is addressing a meeting of gentlemen about his new transport idea] 1 KARL BENZ: OK guys - you’re gonna love this 2 KARL BENZ: So it’s like, a box made of metal that goes at up to 120 miles an hour, yeah? [Karl shows them a diagram of a car] 3 KARL BENZ: And your drive it down one side of the road, and the boxes going the other way go on the opposite side, so we don’t need to build two roads! 4 OTHER GUY: What’s down the middle? KARL BENZ: A white line. 5 OTHER GUY: So like, a white barrier… KARL BENZ: No a white line. Drawn on the floor.  6 OTHER GUY: And who’s piloting these machines? KARL BENZ: I was thinking: random members of the public. 7 [Pause, the other guys all look with concern at Karl] 8 OTHER GUY: Karl are you OK KARL BENZ: No listen it’s fine  9  OTHER GUY: You know we’re worried about you, don’t you?  KARL BENZ: No really it’ll work - 10 KARL BENZ: Once hundreds of millions of people have died and the world’s started ending because of the fumes it’ll all be normal. 11 OTHER GUY: Is that normal like the ‘commuter travel device’ you brought in last week which was just… 12 OTHER GUY:  …an iron maiden fired from a catapult? [The other guy displays a diagram of an iron maiden being fired from a catapult] KARL BENZ: THAT WOULD’VE WORKED! [ends]

Carl Benz has an idea

England outclass Canada to capture glorious Women’s Rugby World Cup triumph * Final: Canada 13-33 England * Ellie Kildunne shines for largest crowd in women’s rugby history If this were a movie, the scriptwriters would be shoo-ins for an Oscar, the plot centred on a dominant team who overcame the heartbreak of losing two back-to-back Rugby World Cup finals to complete an eight-year redemption arc and become world champions again by beating Canada. Before Saturday’s final, England had lost just once in 63 games and that blot on their record stained everything. But no more. They are on top of the world for a third time – and this victory may taste all the sweeter for being in front of 81,885 people, a world record crowd. This triumph will leave an ever-changing impact on the sport in England. Continue reading...

England outclass Canada to capture glorious Women’s Rugby World Cup triumph

Took a while to relax, particularly when England were a player down and Canada had their heads up, but damn what a deserved win. You can see what it means to them. WORLD CUP WINNERS!!! #rwc2025 #caneng #rwc2025final

There's a long way to go but I did wonder if this would go like 2019 mens WC, and Canada are England. Outstanding SF but then can't match those levels in the final. #rwc2025 #caneng

KILDUNNNNNNEE! Really can make summut outa nowt! Reminds me of Jason Robinson in that respect. #rwc2025 #caneng #rwc2025final

Yeah, I listen to 6 music and I turn down the news when it comes on, fed up with the editorial decisions.

I've never heard the game referred to as snakes and steps, rather than ladders. #taskmaster

Cartoon of two chops. One is saying "One two" and the other replies "Buckle my shoe". Caption: Rhyming Cutlets

clipping from an 18th-century newspaper advertising Dr Brodum's Nervous Cordial

Behold this 18th-century cure for both excessive tea drinking AND enthusiastic teenage masturbation

... Also, childbirth and "grief", because why not

🫖🍆😭

There is a conservationist, who is a man, and has hair, but frankly that's as far as it goes. Apparently I don't know what I look like. Other folks dream of teeth falling out or snakes, I'm confusing myself with made up people.

In my dream last night (I know, yawn) some random man said 'you look like Frank Pope'. I woke up and lay there thinking, 'Who TF is Frank Pope?!' And I actually couldn't get back to sleep until I'd googled the name.

"Unworkable stunt. "

There's something about the wording, a little too florid.

Historic ‘causes’ of #Autism

Five cobnuts in my hand

Bags full to bursting of different coloured apples

Harvest time. Not the biggest crop of cobnuts, but this is just the first round of apples - Honeycrisp, Fiesta, Cox, Russet. #growyourown #gardening

Great growing conditions. There's talk of a 'mast' year for fruits and nuts.

My favourite fact about Iceland is that we have many, many crime writers but only one forensic pathologist, and he was so busy answering all of their questions that he decided to have a small seminar for writers to get some peace.

It immediately sold out so he had another one that also sold out.

England Finalists. It was a proper arm wrestle. Scoreline doesn't reflect the game and France will rue some of the chances they didn't take. Good to get a performance like that out of the way! #engfra #rwc2025

Helluva result for Canada. Tired towards the end but did enough to resist the inevitable Black Ferns purple patch. Cracking match! #rwc2025 #nzlcan

Canada just so so good, so quick of thought and feet. Sure NZ will come back at some point but they are 2nd best all over the park. #rwc2025 #nzlcan

I read that as Grand stand, and thought 'well wouldn't be my choice but each to their own eh!'