CelticFan

I signed one too! And it carries the same weight.

Still bitter? Lol

no pain, no gain
no ouch, no couch
no twinge, no binge
no ache, no cake
no sting, no zing
I have no idea where I was going with this.

Someone has been reading my journal

I recently learned my therapist also has a therapist and now I'm worried it's my fault.

“Check engine” is the only light in my life.

Finally! Now they can stop the incessant promos of this doc.

13’s Dr(getting family history): Is anyone in her family long and lean? I know you two aren’t…

Me: Hey doc, I didn’t come here to get roasted.

Glenn close holding a cigar.

Glenn close in same picture without a cigar.

Glenn Close But No Cigar

Happy hump day, perverts! Hope you all get a little unfrosting...

As long as they don’t cancel sports.

Call me a conspiracy theorist but I think this UnitedHealth murder is somehow an attempt by @McDonalds to increase their brand’s image after the whole E. coli scandal.

can't they just put their execs in glass cases that you have to get an employee to open for you

a young man is standing in front of a sign that says ' cruise ' on it ALT: a young man is standing in front of a sign that says ' cruise ' on it

You guys get invited to parties?

And as a northern Rhode Islander, I’m going to be an owner of some oceanfront property.

No Guinness shortage in Ireland as Great Britain copes with limited supply Diageo, the parent company of Guinness, says it will make all deliveries to its customers across the island of Ireland "as planned and without disruption."

www.irishcentral.com/news/guinnes...

As revenge for past atrocities, no more Guinness for the English!

*comes out of fitting room and throws clothes on floor*

Me: THESE SHOULD BE CALLED NOT FITTING ROOMS!

Because the dems take the high road 9/10 times. They’re held to a higher standard and like to show it off. Any time the halo gets tilted everyone pounces.

You’re ahead of your time. That’s something.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but get out of your head and back on your feet. Remember who the fuck you are.

Now I know the moon landing was fake. Michael Collins was a great Irishman who was assassinated in 1922. You’re fooling no one.

*tosses pepperoni on the bed like rose petals*

You should watch a game or two. 😜

The only thing worse than Hegseth’s mom calling him an abuser is that they communicate through email. Call your mom Pete!

[Watching El Chapo with my new girlfriend]

HER: He really likes digging underground

ME: He's got Cartel Tunnel Syndrome lol

HER: Get out!

THERAPIST: you need to get out of your comfort zone

ME: my what

Same as last year, different color

This just makes me sad.

Another gem from Mike.

White Christmas tree makes for a blue Christmas in my house.