Jack Boot

My first rodeo was a petting zoo. I got a little out of hand.

a stick figure on the back of my minivan, but it's for hangman

All I want out of science is a strawberry that's the size of an apple

Genius my friend. Thank you for this laugh.

When I was five, I received Cootie™ as a gift. In those days, you’d send off for a packet of ‘Cootie Eggs,’ which were just beetle larva. I grew attached to the rascals and refused to pull off their appendages, as per instructions.

I may be misremembering this.

Cranking out hat after hat with my hat-shaped snow mold

This email exchange could have been a knife fight

Give your little kid a thrill. Show him the secret robot sleeping in your basement. Then make him a schedule and have him change its air filter every three months.

crazy to think how arianna grande in wicked is the same age as wilford brimley was in cocoon

no one better bring me to life with a magic hat that’s all i’m saying

They should invent a burrito that's already in my mouth.

*leans out window* you there, boy! Is it still Lexus December to remember?

I love the Charlie Brown Christmas special. There's an eerie loneliness that hangs over the whole thing. The music, Charlie Brown's depression, the dying little tree, the flatness of the children's voices, the inevitability of death. A Christmas masterpiece.

Two little boys wandering a deserted Christmas tree lot at night. The desolation of the soul manifested.

I'll need to look into that.

It was supposedly German food with a twist.

Me too. There is no way that movie should have gotten a PG rating. Great film though.

What’s a Film You watched Way too Young? 🎥

Nice coasters.

inspecting each costco rotisserie chicken like a show dog

i told someone that i always do a warmup exercise, which is a bit of stretch

tech bro is short for technically broken

It would seem.

I still have a glovebox full of Bed Bath and Beyond coupons. Hope springs eternal.

Not to brag but I am highly respected on garbage Bluesky.

Hey if it's not too much trouble can someone come scratch my back? Also, can you even if it is too much trouble? Thanks.

Get in loser, we're losers. This is the loser bus

I can’t watch Rudolph without thinking that jolly snowman is going to pull a flask from his green vest, fly into a drunken rage, and start throwing his little snowman hands while ratting out Santa to HUAC

Crepe myrtle tree covered in ice after this morning's storm

Just a little icy out there today