Stephuán d'Beavis

there's Mean internet and Goofy internet. right now the government is occupied by Mean internet. a fella from Goofy internet is going to be mator of the biggest city in the country

There used to be an account where someone was narrating all of MGS3 via screenshots and dril tweets

WINE
BUTT
TEST
inshallah

Hell yeah I could. It'd be the last thing I ever did, but I could do it

Love the assurance that the company, "is profitable"

beemovieerotica on tumblr: "whenever we try to get our dogs excited for something we've been saying "do you want [activity / treat / etc]" and only now we've realized that they don't actually understand [activity / treat / etc] in isolation. we can say "ice cream" a million times to no response, but "do you want ice cream" works. however, "do you want" also works. "want" by itself, also works we've conditioned our dogs to beg for the root of all suffering - they will not be escaping the cycle of samsara - we goofed - their karma is fucked - absolutely fucked"

What's the over under that Trump doesn't exactly know what FDR did, just knows he's the guy who won so many elections they implemented a limit?

stood at the counter of the sandwich shop for like 5 minutes before I realized there was just one guy working and the expectation was I just place my order at the little tablet/kiosk. Sucks but its the way of world now I guess. I'm a pretty lame guy to talk to

I love getting a nice microfiber cloth with specific instructions to only use it to clean the glass surfaces of our Canon Office Products and then keeping it at my desk to clean my glasses

squeezed a blackhead or something off the shaft of my dick, spent probably like 2 minutes in the shower examining it and 30 trying to get the water to blast it off my fingers

That's correct senator, three reps from the petroleum lobby, looks like ExxonMobil, BP, and uhhh Games Workshop

give 👏 them 👏 a 👏 tank 👏

I cut one in half with my pitching wedge once

once a year I listen to "The Bum Bum Song" and think about what a stupid time that was to be alive and how now is even dumber

A previously apolitical guy I know was radicalized when he lost his job during the pandemic, fell into the OAN/Newsmax rabbit hole, thinks dems are evil, globalism etc. If he loses his job again under Trump, I'm not sure what becomes of him politically. Socially, he isolated almost all his friends

love to set up a workstation for an employee who works 100% remotely but is coming in for one day for a potluck. moved a computer to his cube and didn't touch the mountains of loose stationary, obsolete hardware, and coffee pod trees that are littered throughout the cube

dragging bags of trash up to the old wardrobe in my attic and tossing them into narnia

showing my ass to the mailman. "youu like it, bitch"

It's not a foolproof plan but every political debate from now on should be a Normal Guy competition. Ask them to describe grocery shopping in detail. Talk about what it's like to have a friend

I don't think there's much debate about your thesis, Beavis has been consistently portrayed as possessing a basic decency in contrast to Butthead's selfishness and scheming

🎵 Moe, Moe, Moe
Howdya like me, howdya like me
Moe, Moe Moe,
Why don't you like me, Nobody likes me🎵

everyone will say it folded because people were scared after two enormously fat guys got in a pro-wrestling style brawl that wrecked a bunch of inventory but I will have lost $75,000 worth of Magic cards to shoplifting by week 2

Thinking of taking out a loan to rent a storefront and turn it into a Games store, sell board games and RPG books and MTG cards, have big tables, host play nights, sell Jones Soda and candy, and lose my shirt and go bankrupt in less than 4 months

bookmarking this one to see if Trump pardons him

I have a friend with an engineering degree who quit his last job 6 years ago and cobbles together a living doing odd jobs for people. He's tried doing mushrooms 3 times and felt nothing, and I believe its because he has nothing to learn about himself or the world. He figured it out already

Fuck this random grunt in particular I guess

screenshot of the low-fidelity footage of Michael Richards shouting slurs at the laugh factory

Watching UHF (1989) in 2025 is wild. "There's Richie Aprile. There's

its difficult sometimes to confront the degree to which we're a society of proud serfs. "I don't mind working hard, even Homer Simpson struggles to provide when the episode demands"