Brandonetics

Face mashed up against the window, breath fogging up the glass.

What about the one about how all short people are cruel little monsters that should off themselves?

Randy Newman

It’s like if anytime you thought of, ate, or heard people talk about cheeseburgers you remembered how much people hated you. May these monsters never know a moments peace.

I don’t know what the future holds for my country, but I’ll take some joy in knowing that that man will never be able to eat, hear, or think about tacos ever again. A taco bowl is no longer safe for him. Not even a Choco Taco, or by proxy a delicious plate of nachos or a delightfully hefty burrito.

Hasan Piker was detained by ICE and chose to talk to cops instead of shutting the fuck up.

Do not be like Hasan Piker. Be way smarter.

Never. Talk. To. Cops.

People clown on this kid for saying something awesome is ‘wizard’ when it is TOTALLY fucking awesome to say something is fucking ‘wizard’.

But I dunno, I feel like I’ve seen the thing that you’re talking about and I think it specifically mentions the Rian Johnson ‘Fly’ episode of Breaking Bad, and I think this episode of Community predates that?

There’s an episode of Community that talks about ‘bottle episodes’ and it’s wee bit meta. That might be it?

It’s cool* that there’s not a zero percent chance that President FuckFace announces a new galactic empire tonight, and there’s more than one person doing those “funny” “stiff armed hand waves”.

*it’s actually NOT cool at all.

I had that, got an ointment from a guy in the alley near the bus depot, cleared it right up!!

Look that head, floating on somebody else’s body, like a melted balloon.

He’s dumb Lex Luthor.

Shout out to this bug from 1931’s ‘Dracula’ that has it’s own spooky coffin.

Man says ‘free will doesn’t exist’ has hair of a poodle

Anything to get out of admitting that your barber may have been looking at a picture of a dog

All year long, we try to convince our neighbors that there hasn’t been any murders at our house, then October rolls around and we’re all like “Jk, there have been SO many murders here”.

Someone falls or is thrown from a great height, and it’s clearly a dummy.