anna

Hey, did you know there's an alternative to ChatGPT that makes sense economically and doesn't destroy the environment?
It's called English majors and they will happily fix all of your documents for the low price of health insurance and a living wage.

I'm not sure if it was Bilbo or a different cat, but there's a tweet about boogers that lives in my head. I couldn't find it on the cesspit that Twitter is now :(

Last night I started singing Losing My Religion to myself, but replacing occasional words with "legs" - "oh legs, it's bigger" "the legs that I would go to, the distance in your legs"

Existential screams

Scream Cipher xkcd.com/3054

Why are we bowing to the childishness of the department of government efficiency's desired acronym? "Of" does not get included. Call it the DGE. Don't get in the clown car.

Make the mouse pointer really huge and change the screen resolution to 768x480

Hot new insult: donglebrain

They could probably wrap themselves around your head though

This goes so fucking hard dude

Rocket dentist

One of the neat things about living in Portland is that when you accidentally go to the jantzen beach target instead of cascades, the fastest way to fix the mistake is to go through Washington.

It's my morning pre-work social media time!

Yeah... there's always been a lot but they're too similar now

I'd love it if a "film twitter circa 2015" community developed here, but I also don't want to start posting just photos and get people following me expecting just photos. I wanna post my dumb thoughts like I did on twitter.

In 2017ish, I asked a friend if her cat minded having his beans touched, and after an awkward pause, it turned out she had always used "beans" as the term for cat balls

Great, already got a bitcoin weirdo trying to follow me here. No thanks!

Tonight I fixed a Hasselblad PME-3 prism that wasn't getting any power. I have the power!

Good band name, inspired by a customer today: "the vacuum belle"

Sure rocks having a migraine after work only for it to clear up (with meds) around 10:30. Energy burst right when I need to get ready to sleep. Love my broken brain.

Switched to flannel sheets - it's incredible how comfy I am

Not the brightest bucket in the shed

Never thought 'ooh I hate that "?"' would be a thought I'd have at 9am on a Saturday

A good rule of thumb is "Be Opposable"

Jen Phillips,PhD @ClutchScience: Our college kid just called--on the phone-to ask if Bon Jovi was a real person 12:43 AM • 2/12/20 55 Retweets 26 Quotes 723 Likes

Many cultures around the world have a legend of a Bon Jovi-like figure.
Germans know him as Guten Joven;
in Brazil he is Bom João

THERAPIST: Remind me what your biggest fear is?

ME: The Kool-Aid Man

THERAPIST: Oh yeah

ME: OH NO

Coworker, testing a Nikon F2 and lens that weren't working correctly: "seems like it has a coupling problem"
Me: "same"
Impressed groans all around.

Top Ten Best Cat Breeds
1. Dumpster Blessing
2. Freelance Tenderloaf
3. Gutter Angel
4. Just Showed Up One Day
5. Royal Trash Goblin
6. Crime Child
7. Snack Master General
8. Le Slinkus
9. Crusty Sea Captain
10. Classic Potato

Going to bed before midnight on (my) Friday? Unheard of. So sleepy.

I'm not a landlord and don't want to be, but I'd think not having a tenant would be preferable to having a shitty one that doesn't pay