Dan Wright

I know we all have bigger problems right now but the new American linguistic tic of "mind you" may just be what finally does me in.

To the diva responsible for playing Government Hooker in the Cineworld foyer last night while I was waiting to go into 28 Years Later, thank you for your service.

Choosing between a heat-induced stroke or rage-induced stroke as I weigh up going out for a walk in this unbearable heat just to get away from my awful next door neighbours and their awful yapping dog >:-(

A man in a dinosaur print shirt, soaking wet and on a carousel at the end of the pier

I'm in Blackpool for my birthday, and it's...well, raining would be an understatement.

Every time someone posts a Schitt's Creek gif in the work group chat on whatsapp I take significant psychic damage.

The past couple of days have been highly irregular in terms of my routine and social interactions, and now I'm in a depressive stupor I can't snap out of. It turns out having a life and spending time with loved ones is actually quite bad for you, wouldn't recommend.

Thank you! x

It's me, a 40 year old man lying on his sofa.

I'm 40 today btw

I quote this way too often, but sometimes you really do just want to like, run around the land all day.

What is everyone doing to maintain their sanity these days? Every time I hear about a single fucking thing happening in this country/the world at large I take significant psychic damage and it's really grinding me down.

Probably, but I just hate to see bad behaviour rewarded :(

*Aggressively* reminding myself it's just a TV game show and not emblematic of everything that's wrong with the world and its inherent injustice.

I just received a thank you email from a company I bought something from that opens, literally before even "Hey Dan", with a Will Ferrell gif. Extremely cursed start to the day.

I thought my manager was wearing a single fingerless glove and I was very into it, but then I realised it was a wrist brace.

A summary of my 2024 in film, as per Letterboxd. Kristen Stewart was my most watched actor of the year, as she should be.

I know that's right

I was very into the green one but it was the most unsettling looking liquid I've ever seen.

A pint glass of red liquid, swirling with glitter

Finally finishing the last of the promotional Wicked edition of Robinsons "Outstandiful Berry" squash, complete with swirling magic glitter effect - I'll miss these delicious micro plastics when they're gone (just kidding, they'll be a part of me forever).

This is the exact kind of diary entry you'd find in a Resident Evil game, with the next page being just blood splatter and claw marks.

Despite a lot of chaos and confusion, 2024 has been a good year for me! I moved in with my boyfriend, I got a new job that doesn't make me violently insane (ie doesn't involve the general public), and I'm looking forward to the year ahead.

I hate to say it but it really is a game changer. The human ear was not designed to be blasted by The Rock's voice at 140 decibels.

A man in a white t shirt and glasses, illuminated by multicoloured Christmas lights and holding up a peace sign while smiling like a dope.

Merry Christmas, everyone - I've had a lovely day and just capped it off with watching Tokyo Godfathers, life is good 🎄

It also caused me to add an apostrophe in Baileys, let's go with that

The Google Weather app icon: a yellow, pointy round shape that resembles Lisa Simpson's head if you're tired enough.

I had a Bailey's coffee and mistook the weather app for Lisa Simpson, if you want an indication of how ready I am for Christmas break.

That wretched video game where you play as funko pops across a range of levels based on already completely exhausted IPs is possibly the most creatively and spiritually bankrupt thing I've ever seen.

I'm always saying this.

Ok my Spotify Wrapped is just objectively wrong 😤

It's weirdly frustrating! I kept waiting for it to properly get going, and then it was over. I feel like it's the exact sort of dumb premise a Netflix movie could really sink its teeth into, but alas.

I'm so excited to see which of this year's periods of mental illness will come out on top in my Spotify Wrapped - lot of great contenders this year!

On my way to Slough and the train departures are in chaos, so many cancellations and delays!! If I had to board a train more than twice a year this would very easily make me become the Joker.

An ominous pamphlet titled "12 Trends in British Society"

Incredible find in the charity shop today.