darth mando

started this year coming off back to back rounds of pneumonia and evacuating the fires. I NEEDED to see the chiefs getting their asses beat, this is healing something in me

can’t even imagine how it feels to be an Eagles fan right now

god this is so cathartic lmao

*10,600 acres now. these winds are making things impossible to contain

thank you 🖤

Thank you. Yeah, even if things are under control by then I’m sure the air quality is still going to be terrible

Evacuated from the Eaton fire last night. Went to bed when it was at 1,000 acres, woke up to find out it’s at 2,200 now. Our home is still safe for now but man this is awful

Just happened again this morning. This poor distraught woman lost coverage for some mental health services and I kept trying to cut in before she gave out too much info so I could let her know she had the wrong company. I felt so bad.

I’ve had my own personal beef with United ever since they put out a customer service number that is only one digit different from my team’s phone number. Been mistakenly yelled at by enough people who lost coverage that they should owe me something at this point

feels like it!

havin a real bad time, is what I’m saying!

I somehow went almost three years without getting sick so I can only interpret these past two months as my body being like, “Yup, run it all through, let’s go” to catch back up to quota

went to their bio and thought I had ended up on LinkedIn somehow

we must redistribute the bit among us non starter packs

Just fluoridated another conservative child by blowdart. I can do this all 4 years

*trying to stir up discourse* people who were on big accounts starter packs are the uhhh nepo babies of this site

Finally, a place where you can learn about the Bible every week.

You sir have won the internet today

every guy who’s ever taken a mirror selfie has hit that first stance

one of the first times I ever had a tweet blow up I had this influx of 2-3k resistance lib moms following me and at first they were super nice then within literally hours they turned on me in the replies for not following all of them back lmao

idk if you guys knew this but people are in the bathroom to take a shit and a piss

2025 is gonna be watching a streamer who reads at a sixth grade level interview the secretary of defense

I like that when you go to the Discover tab it’s full of people you already follow. The harmless sort of incompetence that I find comforting.

it’s so hard not to just call them tweets, but that’s also confusing because I still refer to the other place as Twitter. Idk we gotta figure it out

finding out there’s another Hoffman and he’s acting AND he may very well have the juice might just be enough to sustain me until the new year

credits rolling for the Jake Paul-Mike Tyson fight. The video is of Mike Tyson's bare ass. onscreen: Exective Producers JAKE PAUL MIKE TYSON

tonight in a nutshell

Generally agree with “it’s going to get worse before it gets funny” but the one thing that absolutely is funny right now is how tired Trump clearly is of Elon already

You can be a guy that claims WiFi causes brain cancer and vaccines cause autism and this is how you'll get covered by mainstream press

getting a new notification each time they lose additional hp would be so satisfying