perfect knight

it happens!

i never want someone to play matchmaker with me again just let me be single

it actually doesnt matter cuz they cancelled 🫩

this is so embarrassing. it smells like vanilla cupcakes so i got in

i been knew

what if carniverous plants ate humans. what if that happened to us

i know what they look like but i dont have instagram

I hope nobody has read any of my posts

Oh my gosh I'm becoming closer to wicked, and psycho

friend is setting me up on a date with some person he met on twitter which is cool i guess but i dont think they know what i look like so its gonna be awkward if they think im ugly lmao

As end-of-empire scenarios go it is so much more dignified to get your capital city sacked by the Visigoths than to have a bunch of illiterate rich people in their 70s doing it through a series of incomprehensible tantrums because their brains were defeated by their phones.

sweet everyone who sucks will be in one spot

🥰

deal 🤝

aw man i thought someone looked up to me...

im so sorry

no youre just crazy pretty

i love crunchy peanut butter wtf

girl 😵‍💫

i was listening to baroness but i switched to black metal 🐶

i love hell

getting macheted through the forehead by an undead mutant because my tesla unexpectedly drained its own battery crunching out jpegs of big titty anime ladies for guys who bought elon’s stupid flamethrower, which, ironically, would’ve been pretty useful in this exact situation and precisely no others

hed piss you off so fast lmao

you guys need to chill and smoke some weed lowkey

my stepdad is like this

hi gorg you are the prettiest everr 😌

this is what i did today but instead of being stoned i was at work

every episode of house be like: you're sick because you're an asexual transgender liberal cuck. i'm going to commit malpractice and somehow save your life

if House did your gender care, he'd be rude, but he'd get results.

Chase, on the other hand, would be all "Crikey, i could fair dinkum murder this bloody sheila and old mate wouldnt catch me..."