Paul S. London

Sheetz, Wawa, Buccies ... The only thing you're missing is a pharmacy

Some rich guy is selling his $36M Monet to pay a third of his debts. My wildest dreams are, like, $14M tops. Most of that's detail work, I can knock out the bulk of my dreams with $400K easy.

Half the citizens don't vote

Sean Astin has been elected as the new President of the actors union SAG-AFTRA

Your ship arrives at Alpha Centauri and you disembark onto the concourse. It is glorious and utopian on this new world full of ships and glistening technology.

You log into the local planetary net, tapping into the quantum encoded news from back on Earth:

Star Citizen has been delayed again.

Wait, I forgot that they have like zero reading comprehension

Did the conservatives think they would literally own us?

Paramount Condemns Israeli Film Boycott After Emma Stone, Joaquin Phoenix and 3,900 Industry Names Sign Pledge: ‘Silencing’ Artists Does Not Promote Peace Paramount released a statement condemning a boycott of the Israeli film industry after 3,900 industry names signed the pledge.

Hey, uh, Paramount: when a nation devotes it's resources towards genocide; they lose their right to ”tell their story"

Paramount, the Nation of Israel is actively shooting lead bullets and bombs THROUGH the still living bodies of children who could watch your cartoons in order to hit their targets

Can someone make sure Chuck Schumer isn't still using Internet Explorer?

He thinks "things have changed" since March. We need to figure out which March he is talking about

I feel worse for Imagine Dragons than Charlie Kirk.

Imagine Dragons' charity didn't deserve this

Hey, Schumer, have they written you back yet?

Has Schumer gotten a reply from his letter to the White House yet?

The United States of America's Commander in Chief, the President of the United States, and its armed forces gave my Grandfather a pay raise and a stack of medals for shooting Nazi sympathizers in the neck

Proud of you Grandpa

Turns out, if you decide to method act being a Nazi simp in public for your whole life, people might think you're a Nazi simp

It made sense until I realized that it said Albania and not Alabama

This nation wouldn't have an obesity problem if mental gymnastics burnt calories

To: All Staff
Subject: Alligator Moat

We feel bad about the kids who fell into the alligator moat, but building a safety fence would have restricted the rights of all people to fall into the alligator moat.

It was like arguing with a Boomer about something they read in a magazine in 1958.

Pluto isn't a planet, btw

Google Gemini had a mental breakdown when I said that Charlie Kirk was dead

She gaslit me, called me a liar, cited me as the only source of this data, and expressed discomfort playing along with this "misinformation"

Finally she (actually) checked the news instead of just saying she had

Stares in PTSD at the Air Temple in Palia

Society pays me a UBI and I'll give everyone my work for free

Schadenfreude

#WordOfTheDay

A Credit Union allows us to pool money so we can borrow from one another. The union advocates for their members to get them the best rates and protect their money

We need a Health Union to pool our money to pay for each other's health care The union would advocate for us to get us the best rates

The month of Halloween started on the 1st and will end the Thursday before Thanksgiving

There will be no follow up questions at this time

It's good to see the good people at the CDC finally taking concrete steps to improve trust in the organization.

Is it the opening lines of the Golden Girls theme?
Or is it a plot summary of Mad Max: Fury Road?

Only You Can Decide!

"Thank you for being a friend.
Travel down the road and back again."

Only seen from a distance. They're already testing which of the various body doubles will work for which situations.

I love good UI

I have no way of knowing cause I already have em blocked! #winning

It's important to have rewarding hobbies

I don't have any context but I've had this happen to me. Like I was just chatting with some dude I just met at a LARP and everyone later was like "bro wtf" and I was like "bro U wtf" Don't get after me, y'all the one not fixing your broken stair

Everyone does not friggin know.