Why does Kash Patel always look like someone just walked in on him jerking off

Who’s trying to get just a couple small beers

Have to appreciate Jason absolutely sending that would be rapist into the ether

Janet can you not

When will NYT be brave enough to Wordle Shart

I haven’t really heard about Elon Musk for awhile and my life is measurably better. This must be how Grimes felt

An American Werewolf in London is the second craziest thing they let John Landis get away with

Less tradwives more radwives. Put down the apron and let’s nail this kickflip

Taylor Swift makes music for people who cut the crusts off their Pb&j

Being able to comfortably wear a sweatshirt in October doesn’t feel like a huge ask

At least when I’m dead I’ll get zero Taylor Swift updates. I don’t hold faith in any religion but I take comfort in that

Is this the look for Halloween

Nancy you’re like 17 what a weird age to pick

One Battle After Another and Sinners both lay out a formula for cinema success: diverse movies where white nationalists get duffed in the most graphic way possible shot and presented in increasingly baroque high resolution formats.

Benecio del Toro best supporting actor I’m starting the campaign now

Maybe I should be reading Pynchon

I’m sorry Regina Hall I was not familiar with your game

One Battle After Another is the closest I’ve ever been to wanting to have a kid if only to radicalize them into a left wing militia (another sign I in fact should not procreate)

Wait so Freddy Got Fingered isn’t a Nightmare on Elm Street sequel

Just watched One Battle After Another and publicly teared up at this bar thinking of what role PSH would’ve absolutely devoured

hell yeah love a footie

I just learned that Theo Von is 45. This is the rare case where it’s actually an insult that I thought he was much younger than that. Why is a 45 year old acting like that

Did Jeffrey Toobin try to say he was jerking off ironically? Like someone just told a bad joke

I dress like shit all the time but I always carry around a bottle of laundry detergent so I can go “laundry day am I right”

Instead of making seven or whatever Conjuring sequels they should have made more of those horror franchise crossover slop from the 2000’s. I’m thinking Chucky Vs Leprechaun, Critters Vs Gremlins, Leatherface Vs Wrong Turn? (Alternatively Leatherface takes a Wrong Turn)

I fucking hate those orange tinted deep fried AI images that I now see all over Instagram, posted by artists and businesses that either don’t know any better or don’t care. It’s like if you sucked the life out of an already shitty drawing

Help me Coffee On An Empty Stomach, you’re my only hope Coffee On An Empty Stomach

My knee has been fucked up and I’ve had to cycle and/or elliptical and it simply is not a substitute. Driving me a little insane