Theseus, His Sails Unfurled

You don't, as it turns out; my priest was just an asshole who was bullshitting me when I asked.

'measles outbreak at the child prison' seems entirely avoidable, it's really the kind of thing that only happens if you do several unthinkably evil things on purpose all at once

If someone has to beg your grown ass to vote, you definitely aren't as smart as you think you are.

I chose her for my confirmation name, qua Saint, but they told me I couldn't use a female name. I feel like that wasn't Church law and they were just being assholes, but she's got a place in my heart. (I went with Brendan in the end.)

I'm kinda weeping at the irony of telling Black speakers to "pay attention to important things that matter" -- in other words, to Stay Woke.

I just remember following the buzz for weeks leading up to 1/6 and knowing they had invited a ton of their assholes down to make trouble. I didn't expect an attempted coup, but I did expect riots. They telegraphed as much, and it wasn't exactly confined to Signal chats.

Once again, being an undocumented entry is a civil misdemeanor. Being an undocumented overstay is a civil infraction, not even a misdemeanor.

I just can't imagine walking around having a near-religious belief in the power of an action that has never once done what I insist it does.

Like even in the Arrested Development meme, they were trying to make a *type* of fruitless act work, not an actual codified set of verifiable rules.

Goddamn.

OK, well since it's verifiably false, they need to come off it, right? Christ.

They can't seriously just Keep Saying Shit and never look into what any of it means. It's no way to live and intolerable for everyone else.

YouTube video by Shoryuken1981 Super Street Fighter 4 - Juri Ultra 2 Kaisen Dankairaku

Look, as long as my ult can be Sakura's Haru Ranman or Juri's Kaisen Dankairaku, I'll take the hits.

Protesting as Street Fighter 4 Ultra meter

Needless to say, we left at the 2m warning or so, Steelers about to win, and we saw three kids on that block in cuffs already.

There is no "One Weird Trick" to make the government fuck off, as it turns out.

I was at a college party once, and there was an obviously dumbass rumor going around it that "The cops have agreed that, if the Steelers win the Super Bowl, they'll wait five minutes before making any arrests. Everything's legal for the first five minutes!" That's how this shit feels.

It doesn't even shut down, though, anyway. We just stop paying people. It's so deeply unserious. I think large numbers of people are deluded into thinking the shutdown means, idk, anarchy or something. As if ICE and CBP and whoever else would be forced to stay home.

What reason could they have for liking shutdowns besides that they think it's walling out Republicans, though?

Yeah, most of the aggravating Poasters believe that, if you aren't stonewalling absolutely everything, you are Neville Chamberlain.

A reminder that Bad Bunny performs in front of the biggest audience on earth in seven days

Sometimes you type shit and you think, "Having this online for posterity isn't really worth telling a couple of hundred people about it."

Sometimes = 9/10 things I'm about to post

Also, this dude is literally more evil than Satan. Nothing we say about him is a problem.

My partner says Snopes debunked it, but my counterpoint is that Snopes is a) on the take and b) didn't have their nose in this man's shitty diaper

Two CBP Agents Identified in Alex Pretti Shooting The two federal immigration agents who fired on Minneapolis protester Alex Pretti are identified in government records as Border Patrol agent Jesus Ochoa and Customs and Border Protection officer Raym...

1/ BREAKING: Government documents reviewed by ProPublica identify Border Patrol agent Jesus Ochoa, 43, and Customs and Border Protection officer Raymundo Gutierrez, 35, as the two who fired their weapons during the deadly encounter with Alex Pretti in Minneapolis.

Um I'm sorry I have the same fucking question???

Republicans do not openly trash Republicans. That's their "big secret" to looking and feeling powerful. It's that simple. And that's basically why I get so pissed about endless postmortems on every Democrat who ever said anything. Not because I love them all! But because the strategy is a loser!

Trump, by my reckoning, very clearly never knows what the fuck he's talking about and has lost every debate ever televised.

Unless you think, like our neighbors do, that you win debates with "vigor" (cocaine energy).

Things that occasionally work:
- News media attention
- Millions of caring supporters
- Court orders
- Concerned politicians

Keep going. These things actually do work.

I used to say it when I was younger until someone asked why I was quoting Rush Limbaugh. I had absoutely no idea where it had come from and it's baggage. Felt so gross.

When I saw your first comment, but not this one, I was about to post, "The only thing I know about that movie is that some truly shitty song was on its soundtrack and kept playing on the radio station my grandma liked."

12 degrees F, 2 cold weather advisories about wind chill

Jesus H. I knew weather in San Diego is esoteric, but I haven't left the house all day in Pittsburgh 🥶

The hundreds and hundreds of weirdo fake revolutionaries who said "the pussy hats from the 2017 Women's March were fake bourgeois activism," mostly