Nate's Myth

tomorrow is wing day

my exercise routine today is to use a very small snack bowl, resulting in more steps back and forth to the kitchen

boss: you should adopt a growth mindset

me: like cancer?

boss: no, more like capitalism

me: that's what I said

beep beep excited

mechanic who
fixed my horn boy scouts
🤝
beep repaired

Kiss me I am full of existential dread

ok intake questions:

what's your hotdog PR?

how long do you bench?

what's your squat record? (How long can you sit around doing squat)

I'm a revolutionizer

consensual peeve petting

Kennedy Cancels Nearly $500 Million in mRNA Vaccine Contracts

I truly cannot emphasize enough how this is straight up Lysenkoism.

Because of the incredible work of our nation’s scientists, we have our finger tips on the closest thing humanity has ever come to “a cure for cancer”, but brainworm over here doesn’t believe in it.

www.nytimes.com/2025/08/05/h...

If it's obvious you used AI to make your commercial, I will not be buying your product. Fuck yo bottom line!

I get out of traffic tickets by addressing the cop as “Your Royal Highness, the Imperial Wizard.” They love that.

Twotanic

Titanic was so good. Why didn’t they make a Titanic 2?

give me liberty or give me jeff that's how the saying goes right

yes, jeff!

boss: you should adopt a growth mindset

me: like cancer?

boss: no, more like capitalism

me: that's what I said

“to thy own self be true” i think, while already buying halloween candy

‘bridge’ is short for rebrigerator

Washington Post: “Is fascism bad? The answer may surprise you”

Teen Vogue: “Here are three fun tips you can use this summer to disable an armored personnel carrier”

Photo of a cuttlefish with a sort of pearlescent coloring sitting in the palm of some person's hand

of course i'm going to cuddle this fish it's right there in the name

If you hate the word moist, 'moisturizer' must be pure evil to you.

*squints at you through clouds of your dry skin flakes*

Great news, guys! Bluesky just notified me that they’re working on a “so cringe” button for me.

Most of you did not scribble out the faces of your enemies in your yearbooks and it shows.

just me and my koosh ball against the world

He's up in the roof because he's off his rocker.

they should make cigarettes for fish

If you see me posting after 10pm on a Sunday, just know I’ve given up on pretending to be a functioning adult.

She blinded me with science! Well, Chemistry... Mace. It was mace.

fear doesn't run my life it just does a light jog