Richard Levesley

A man has been found guilty of writing a stream of consciousness novel. He is about to start a 4 year sentence.

As a housing caseworker, there are growing numbers of people who could afford to rent, yet because it’s easy to gamble on-line, spunk half of their wages up the wall gambling and stay on sofas instead.

Following Prince Andrew’s titles being removed, Prince Edward becomes the Duke Of York. Basically, it all shifts up one. For instance, I’m now my next door neighbour, Pauline Cathcart.

"When I was a kid, we didn't have smartphones. We had to come up with our own extremist views"

"I DON'T NEED YOU TO FUCKING REWRITE WHAT I'VE JUST WRITTEN!"

Dutch libraries have invented an AI chatbot that can recommend books to you

You know what else can recommend books to you

~a fucking librarian~

The British right is swimming in an open sewer We are drifting into territory that once would have seemed extreme

"It is striking that Calgie’s apology went down far worse with the population of X than his original offence. Perhaps the conservative soul has changed. But if the right’s problem is ideological hygiene, then perhaps it’s because it’s swimming in an open sewer."

I feel euphoric today despite the fact that #SWFC have gone into administration and are now on minus six points. It was worth it to get rid of the useless skint idiot in charge.

You'll pry these Oxford commas out of my cold, dead, third thing hands

I’m sorry but these sound like vintage esoteric euphemisms for “homosexual”

It’d be tragic if all Sean Connery ever wanted was for someone to sit on his face, but he was too scared to ask.

The only time where I’ve ever seen anything remotely funny with a heckler was when someone did it to James Acaster. He then spent the next ten minutes or so gently but hilariously explaining exactly why the heckle was no good.

I wrote a lovely poem about the good old days, to go with the nice pink one off Facebook that's quoted below.

One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five to speak to customer services,
Six to return to the main menu,
Seven to hear those options again

Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart. Someone had done me a compilation cassette of Beefheart’s work and I liked it. Seemingly the compilation was the most tuneful work as I never got beyond about track 7 of this without feeling queasy. Good job it was only a four quid second hand copy.

I'd missed Dolan's interview with @sidlowe.bsky.social when it was published. So happy to have read it now. What a beautiful young man Ty is.

Every A.I. CEO is like “We invented a robot that can fuck your wife so you have more free time to mow the lawn!”

A letter from STANLEY KUBRICK August 27, 1970 James T. Aubrey, Jr. Metro Goldwyn Mayer 245N Beverly Drive Beverly Hills, CA 90210 Dear James, It has come to my attention that you and your studio are considering producing a sequel to "2001: A Space Odyssey" over my objections. My attorney informs me that you hold the option and, legally. there is little I can do to stop you. However, I'd like you to know that I own the tapir bone prop from 2001 - the one "Moonwatcher" throws into the sky. If you attempt to make a sequel, I will cram that temur up your ass so far, it will take an as yet undiscovered alien super-intelligence to figure out how to dislodge it. Seriously, don't fuck with me. Best regards, Stanley Kubrick

“Best regards”

Please, if good television matters to you, repost or repackage this video until everyone you follow has seen it

#televisionmatters

Arthur Negus looking to the left. A teapot looking to the right.

Your own
personal
Negus,
Someone to look at your wares
Someone who cares.

Useful reminder from Peter Kellner on the problems we refuse to acknowledge are getting better, and the politics of hopelessness that this breeds

open.substack.com/pub/kellnerp...

It should be a bit like a ‘70’s interview in Shoot magazine where the player reveals that he drives a Ford Cortina, his favourite meal is steak and chips and his favourite musician is Neil Diamond.

When I worked for Nationwide nearly 20 years ago, Gillespie was happy to have Moving On Up as the soundtrack on their corporate videos…

YouTube video by The Last Leg Johnny Vegas Messing With Adam, Alex & Josh | Outtakes | The Last Leg

YouTube has just suggested the video of Johnny Vegas derailing Adam Hills’ attempt to record a promo for The Last Leg and, just like every other time I’ve watched it, I nearly yoffed from laughing youtu.be/V3RlWbzU8Hw

Not a believer anymore but still culturally Catholic, in that I like to wear opulent robes and play haunting organ music while telling people that sex is bad

Drew Harwell I looked at 90 porn sites to test the new age verification law

Me when my wife sees the browser history

I don’t know if @dj-acid-reflux.bsky.social Tom Cox has ever done any audiobooks, but you can’t go far wrong with any of Villager, 1983, Ring That Hill, 21st Century Yokel or Help The Witch. Amazing, beautiful, hallucinatory writing.

Bridget Christie- A Book For Her is one of my favourites. Righteous and informed.

I discussed this on the way home from the pub with someone who was saying ‘The Comedians was great…’

The lines they used about Lenny Henry were shocking, e.g. ‘Here’s the only one who’s make up doesn’t run.’

I think Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall sounds like a firm of solicitors, but not as much as Barnsley striker Davis Keillor-Dunn.

My local club Torquay once had a player called Jazzi Barnum-Bobb. That name can’t be beaten in my book.