Li’l Mel 🦥

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

I'm in the market for a beautiful Italian sandwich that will fix my life

I’m fine with the Rapture as long as the man from Mars does not eat my cars and guitars and head

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

😤

oh was there a sporpsball on i was reading the constitution

White cat with blue eyes peeking curiously through hanging clothes in a closet

The “problem” with vaccines? They so effective at preventing deaths that they create generations of people that question whether disease was a problem in the first place because they have never experienced the horrors of a world without vaccines.

why stop at carrot cake? here have some asparagus pudding you sick fuck

a frowning Shaq issuing a technical foul captioned when the murderer starts being mean to Columbo

😤

Millennials are middle aged now but not me. I stayed young somehow

I want to live forever so I can sleep more

BBC News headline: Frankenstein is monster success at Venice film festival

Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival

Getting a kind of brain damage from doing the NYT crossword where I now parse every sentence as having a different, dumber meaning

*opens up your fridge and sees you have 2% milk* hey bro you need to charge your milk

Agree with Gember-licking wholeheartedly

yeah, im a top

T totally
O out of
P ringles

People are so excited that we might be on the verge of civil war. I’m not. I’m a basic bitch who likes basic things like pumpkin spice lattes and not getting shot at in the grocery store.

Yeah, I like A24: A 24-hour Monk marathon on TBS!

Do you have questions for our panel of self-help experts? Please leave a message at 765-266-2264 and they will answer them on a future pod!

chatgpt 5 bring wife back. How bring wife back

@mattbesser.bsky.social have you been listening to/liking Fontaines DC?

[trying to butter up the judge in the courtroom] Your honor first let me say you have a beautiful home

it’s sooo easy to get laid. of course i know how to do it. let’s just all say how to get laid out loud at the same time for fun though

The main difference between the twilight zone and a regular zone is all the weird stuff that goes on in there

Pretty jealous, but mine has Weird Al!

Simply incorrect