Mandalf

LOL yes 2x at least I'm doing well

Hopefully he at least poisoned the pilot at least

i think the "birds are dinosaurs" thing actually makes dinosaurs much scarier if you think about being chased by a goose

picard: initiate self-destruct sequence
computer: enter password
picard: P!caRd420

Deal!

I know her!

In the 90s I had a Sinatra-obsessed pal who said he couldn’t stand Tony Bennett’s voice and then I told him that Tony Bennett was Sinatra’s favorite vocalist and he got really mad, dropped his red solo cup & stomped out of the room.
I cherish the hell out of that moment in time.
Rest well, Tony

a robot from the show futurama, flipping a switch on his side to change his emotions from "irreverent" to "maudlin"

me walking into oppenheimer after seeing barbie

The reality is almost always that “the business has changed” because management changed it, systematically and deliberately, with the specific goal of reducing costs and holding down wages. This is true across basically every unionized sector.

TikToks and IG Reels are fun and all but it confuses me to no end seeing people replicate the exact same joke/bit over and over that they got from some other content creator…

Liz Lemon, Daria, and Juno

Guaranteed banger

image of a coffee mug on a discount shelf. It reads THE FUTURE IS and the bottom has been covered with a red discount sticker that reads REDUCED FOR QUICK SALE $2.

KSOC wants IOC probe into Sochi 2014 gold medallist Sotnikova's doping comments The Korean Sport & Olympic Committee wants the International Olympic Committee to investigate the comments of Russian figure skater Adelina Sotnikova, who admitted she returned a positive doping test ...

Yes! YES!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 https://www.insidethegames.biz/articles/1138807/ksoc-wants-ioc-investigation-sotnikova

I used to want to be a billionaire but then I found out you have to spend your vacation with the bad Supreme Court justices

WHAT

Please use ALT text! The most helpful advice I’ve received from someone with visual impairments is to act like you’re describing the image to a friend over the phone. Read this thread for more guidance.

Ooo yes I like it

My #TSTheErasTour Surprise Song™️ prediction for tonight is Back to December (because 💜)

Been there 🥵

Well, shit!

This tracks

ME

My son went to archery camp and he wanted to share his joke with you

Why couldn't the green pepper do archery?

He didn't habanero

Celebrating the traditional way

Small men with too much money are bad for the world

Cheesy beefcake — intriguing!
Beefy cheesecake — 🫣

I guess I’m… turning on WaPo and Strib push notifications?