*puts on autumn crown, falls into a turkey circle*

ugh my cow math skills have fallen off since undergrad

fond memories of the projection TV in our local Noble Romans pizza place growing up

by "bad international lesbian" we in fact mean Carmen Sandiego

the student later acknowledged that they had indeed requested a Zoom meeting and then immediately rolled over and fell back asleep

"I wouldn't ask too much of her," I ventured. "You can't repeat the past."

"Can't repeat the past?" he cried incredulously. "Why of course you can!"

microsoft product (begging, pleading): save this document to my documents?

me: save to desktop

microsoft (twitching, shaking) this jpeg. save to pictures?

me: save to desktop

microsoft (weeping, throwing up): this email attachment... downloads?

me: desktop

now part of the Jim Irsay collection!

A drawing of an orchard with four figures. From right to left: figure one is a faded shadow. Figure two is holding his head and a spiral is superimposed on his body. Figure three is thinking and he is outlined by dashed lines. Figure four is reaching up for a fruit on one of the trees and his body is rainbow. Grass grows from below his feet

One saw paradise and died, one lost his mind, one became a heretic, and only rabbi Akiva came in peace and left in peace.

Based on a story from the Talmud (Chagigah 14b)

diversity of opinion, you see

All the doofuses salivating about ChatGPT extruding video game shaped slop don't understand a thing about the true opportunities of procedurally generated game worlds that have nothing to do with GenAI, such as this

the chutzpah to email at 9:04 a.m. to switch an in-person 9:30 meeting to a Zoom call and then to not show up for the Zoom call

he's so close

imagine using the plagiarism machine and immediately pushing all updates to production

"crinkle my diapers"

Maybe your baby just wants you to pick it up pick it up pick it up

Fuck… FUCK. I think my baby’s favorite music is ska.

I think one of the noticeable developments over the course of my adult life is that it used to be newsworthy when cops broke out tear gas against unarmed people

really considering a dumbphone that still can be used as a hotspot because I've cut the cord on cable and home Internet and know I need some ability to get online while at home but would like it to not be so available on a Tuesday at 9:40 p.m. lol

how am I sure I won't lose the phone? at least the fob can go on a keychain

idk I am just kind of spiteful about the number of things that require 2FA that make it difficult to just unplug at home

do I become that shit who requests a 2FA fob so I can take Authenticator off my phone

I mean there are worse vehicles for horseradish lol

this is China's final warning

I can still support this more than chocolate hummus

[CHESAPEAKE INTENSIFIES]

durian is on my list someday

homemade gefilte fish can be pretty good

the stuff that comes out of a jar is cat food

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gondor," i holler as i overturn my uncle's funeral pyre and turn the 4th Age of Man into the 4th Age of Shit

yeah I'll do shots of Worcestershire sauce off the back of my hand

yeah this is actually pretty good if for some reason you have found yourself in the possession of candy corn