Interstellar Object

Tilly Norwood has died. Fell off a cliff. Died on impact.

Well guys, I got raptured. Turns out the clouds are damp and everyone was kind of boring though. So I’m back

Bluesky is dying discourse is all just a set up for Frankenstein (2025) promotion

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. filling an IV bag from a murky puddle near Trump National's sixth tee. "The president needs parameciums," he tells the assembled media. "It's the only treatment proven to work in real testing." His golf cart is piled high with dozens of dead birds.

ME: Am I healthy enough for sex
DOCTOR: How did you get into my apartment

We cannot let Iran get radioactive shrimp technology

Brewers media team be like:

Tell her I’m sorry

Just had the thought that we’re going to need more cubes because we’re already out of rectangles and now I have to go to Costco

Just had the thought that we’re going to need more cubes because we’re already out of rectangles and now I have to go to Costco

That’s my lawyer!

a sign for outback steakhouse with a kangaroo in the background ALT: a sign for outback steakhouse with a kangaroo in the background

Oh hell yeah get EXTREME on that toilet

Personally I think we should fast forward to the end of the MechaHitler story arc where it kills itself in a hole

Plotting

I think the major reason church attendance is declining is because Shrek is famously not a Christian

You guys know what’s pretty cool? Baseball

Bluesky create group DMs challenge

Honestly I hope Twitter dies forever

You guys heard of this Elon Musk character? Seems like a real weirdo to me

Good choice of Kendrick and SZA to perform on the inside of a Magic 8 ball

Look don’t be mad at me, but yes I designed this score bug for the Super Bowl

[kissing every meatball before loading it onto sub]
subway employee: im pretty sure youre not supposed to do that
me: oh i dont work here

Your Joke is Factually Incorrect: A Guide to Dying Alone

If anyone knows anyone who works at American Airlines, please punch them in the nuts (or lady nuts) for me

I learned today that curling wand in French is “baguette de curling”

*Werner Herzog voice*

now, the Jingle Hop has begun

I was watching a space documentary and it abruptly cut to an ad and it was like “Little is known about the earliest universe, but it may be the origin of LIMU EMU … and Doug”

My exact thought. Just dumb as hell

Plus if you don’t like one, just a little scare will probably put them away

Only the oldest people in the world should be in politics. When one dies the next oldest takes their place. Nothing will ever get done, which will be an improvement